Letting go of anger 

Winning and letting go of anger.
I won. Yes, you read it right. I WON. My whole life I have let people take advantage of me. I have backed down, I have kept my mouth shut. I have lived my life to complete the delusions of others and I am fucking done. I was brought up to respect my family, respect my elders, respect my mom, respect my grandmother and I did just that…… for my whole life. 
I did my time. I am 36 years old. I am a grown woman. I have my own family to worry about, my own child to teach…. I was living my life for everyone else’s happiness, all the while, I was ignoring my own. I sat at family parties for years, uncomfortable and upset, because I was angry that my cousin Benny was there and the cousin whom he violated and victimized, wasn’t. I sat there angry at my aunts, uncles and cousins because they chose to ignore what was really happening. I was angry with myself for not having the strength and courage to fully stand up for what I believed in. Years later, I was angry at my brother. Angry for him promising my dad he would be the “man” of the house, and then leaving me to do all the hard stuff. I was angry that he turned his back on us and refused to stand up to his wife. I was angry that he didn’t value our relationship and I felt used. I was angry that he was out enjoying his life while I watched my mom suffer mentally, Of emotionally and in the last year, physically. At times I was even angry with my mom. Angry that she allowed my brother to walk all over her, mistreat her and allow his wife to talk to her like she didn’t matter. I was angry that she was depressed. I was angry that she let him ruin her life. Angry that she couldn’t accept reality for what it was. Angry that she didn’t take care of herself. Angry that she became complicit with her health. I was so fucking angry.
At this time last year, during the last week of July, I knew it was the beginning of the end, and in more ways than one. My mom was starting to go downhill and fast, and it was also this time of year when I finally revealed to her what was going on between me and my aunts. I had never reached the level of stress, worry and anxiety that I was in, at that point in time. I just couldn’t handle anything more, not even the smallest worry or upset. It was a pivotal moment in my life because the last week of July, last year where I finally surrendered and started being true to myself. 
Satan, my brother’s wife decided to have a party for their then 1 year 4 month old baby on July 30th, the day of my mom’s birthday. She had four months and could’ve had a party for the kid on any one of those days in between but she decided to steal my mother’s last birthday. God forbid my mom have all the attention on her for an entire day. Oh no, that can’t happen. She sent invitations out without even making mention that it was also my mom’s birthday that day as well. Of course at that time no one knew my mom would be gone another four months after that, but it was pretty clear that the year prior for her was no walk in the park and that her health was on a steady decline. That’s how narcissists like Satan do things. It’s back handed and passive aggressive. It’s veiled in a nice gesture. Because for those of us who see right through people like Satan, we know how to read between the lines. Those who don’t will think it’s “sweet” because she buys my mom a small personal cake and gives her 30 seconds of attention. (and that’s exactly how much time was spent acknowledging her that day). When something fucked up is cloaked in shiny glittery rainbows, it’s hard to see the deeper meaning behind it. Satan is vindictive and she will stop at nothing to get her vindication. 
That party was the first party I was invited to since my brother moved in with her, and I know that the only reason I was invited was because Satan was not letting her “investment” (aka my mom and her assets) slip away that easy. Three years prior to that day, there was little to no relationship between Satan and my mom. I would say that about 97% of their interaction in that span of time, was them arguing and yelling at one another. Whatever shit they had in the last few months of my mom’s life was exactly that, shit. It was so phony, on both ends. My brother had threatened my a few months before her tumor was discovered that if she didn’t get on board with his wife, she wouldn’t see her grandkids. My mom wasn’t about to not love an innocent child and so she pretended so she can have some type of connection. Satan doesn’t allow full blown connections though. 
My mom was upset with me about not going to the party and trust me when I say, I felt terrible that I wasn’t going to be there on her actual birthday. It upset me to know she was going to be sad there without me, but I just needed a break. I was on the front lines with her fighting this battle against cancer since December of 2015, while my brother and his wife were off getting drunk and going to Puerto Rico. I needed a day to myself but moreso I had reached a breaking point. I no longer had the energy to put into things that weren’t making me happy and so for the first time in a really long time, I put myself first. 
Pretty much from that day forward I started to live a life that was truer to myself. I still loved and respected my mom, but my relationships with other members in my family were starting to become so toxic that my need for sanity was starting outweigh my respect. I tolerated enough for her. I put so much energy into her and trying to make her happy and I did it to the detriment of my own well being. I knew she was getting worse and there was no way I was going to be able to take care of her in the way she deserved will all of this other baggage weighing me down. I had to let go. 
That last month of her life that she spent in the hospital, that was when I really started to see things clearly. Nothing will bring the dysfunction out of your family more than dealing with losing one of its members. I tried one last time for her and it blew up in my face. While it was the most confusing, emotionally taxing and horrifying rollercoaster ride of my life, and I felt like I couldn’t tell up from down, at the same time, I never saw things more clearly in my life. My aunts showed me what kind of people they were and what was important to them. My brother and his wife made it clear that the only thing they were interested in was there inheritance. My mom was secondary. While some of the people in my life feel sorry for me that my family is “mistreating” me and not being supportive, I am thanking god. It was a gift. He showed me the light. He set me free. I no longer have to tip toe around and worry about hurting anyone’s feelings. I don’t have to feel anxiety. I don’t have to be angry with them. I can live my life and be free. I can feel the way I want to feel without being judged and ridiculed. I realized that it doesn’t matter how much good I’ve done in my life and how much I was there for them. I can be an amazing person 99% of the time, but with my family, that 1% that you fuck up is going to override the other 99% of good. That fuck up is going to be your defining factor. Because I stood up for myself, I became the villain? 
After my mom passed and I got into a huge fight with my aunt Debbie where she said all this horrible shit to me, and then my objecting to my mom’s will and them being executors, I was just counting down the days until I could finally expose them and tell the world what frauds they were. I will admit, I had plans to destroy their lives and reputations. I thought of everything from making a video and exposing every detail on Facebook for all their friends,family and coworkers to see. I wanted to go all out. I mean I have stuff on them that can make them look like the biggest assholes possible. Especially my aunt Debbie. I wanted to share it with the world. I was so fucking angry. 

Since I was a kid, my worst fear was losing my mom and for the entire year of 2016, I was living my worst fear and they did nothing but make it even worse than it already was. How do you fuck with someone at a time like that? How could my aunt Bea and Uncle Bob use the death of my mother as means to get back at me for exposing their child molester son? How does my Aunt Debbie tell me I made my mom miserable and I didn’t let her die with “peace in her heart”, knowing that I was the only one that was always there for her, that she could always count on? There was a time when me and her had a great relationship. I confided in her and she confided in me. We would spend hours on the phone talking about my mom and how depressed she was, how fucked up my brother was and Aunt Debbie would tell me how lucky my mom was to have me. Now all of the sudden I ruined her life? It doesn’t make sense. 
 I spent the last 8 months of my life quietly and patiently waiting for this day to come, and trust me, in this last 8 months they tried so, so, so, so hard to get me to come out. I kept ignoring. In the past, I overshared my feelings. If something was bothering me, I had to tell everyone I knew about it. Back in July of last year, I went completely silent. I fell off the grid, so to speak. I completely stopped sharing with everyone in my family. I stopped reacting to their shit. I continued to keep my eyes focused on the prize, being there for my mom. I used my husband as an outlet. After my mom died, I started to use this blog as my outlet. It’s anonymous. The chances of them finding it are very small. Even if they do, they cannot prove it’s about them. 
After all the deflection, the denial, the, manufacturing of lies, the shit talking, the hate campaigning, bullying and intimidating, I couldn’t wait to have my day, but as time went on……….something magical happened. Me not talking to them or about them and reacting to them gave me better results. The less I responded the more angry they got. The more angry they got, the harder they tried to pull me out. Since they couldn’t reach me directly, they started to try different means of getting to me. They started to get other people involved, and by doing so, they made themselves look like hateful and heartless assholes. I didn’t need to expose them. They exposed themselves. The other members in my family who weren’t involved finally opened their eyes and they wanted no part of it, and so in turn, they distanced themselves. People have their number. A few other family members even decided to erase them of social media and it was reasons that had nothing to do with my situation. 
Here I am 8 months later and the need for revenge and the anger has dissipated. Through self reflection, therapy and lots of thinking, I have realized that it isn’t even worth my time. People like my aunts and Satan, they live their lives for this shit. They love causing chaos and they are looking for fights. The more you come back at them, you are just feeding them more fuel to continue doing what their doing. You are empowering them and giving them more ammunition and supply. You are breathing life into them. You are giving them a topic to discuss with their friends and family at the dinner table. You are letting them control your life. Fear = control. 
In order to want to hurt someone like that there has to be a level of care there. Wanting the person to know how they hurt you is you telling them that they are important enough to care what they think. I don’t give a flying fuck anymore what they think. I don’t want them to even get the slightest in I give a shit or that I am sweating them in any way. I have reached the point where I have no problem in them because I don’t care about them anymore. Their opinions of me mean nothing. I care more what a rock thinks of me than what they think.
Does it still hurt sometimes? Yes Does that feeling to hurt them the way they hurt me, still creep up from time to time? Yes. I wouldn’t be human if it didn’t cross my mind here and there. There are some days I want to drive my car to their houses and give them all a baseball bat to the face but at the end of the day, none of them is worth my freedom, my time or my energy. I will not give them the freedom that they so desperately crave. Not gonna happen. 
Today I went to my lawyer’s office and I signed my oath to be executor of my mom’s estate. I fought long and hard for this. I won. My mom would be proud. I know she would be. I miss her so much. 

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Say cheese!  🧀 

Say Cheese! 🧀 
I was telling someone the story today about what my brother and his succubus of a wife, Satan and what they put me and my mom through during the last month of my mom’s life, while she was in the hospital. I didn’t share the story with many, as it was not going to make any differences, nor would it help me in any way. After telling the story again, it hit me again and I realized how truly and deeply fucked up it was. It showed me how truly twisted Satan was. Now that I’ve had seven months to reflect, I feel as if I’m looking at the world with a different set of eyes. My vision is no longer being clouded by my anger. I have had time to process, rationalize and gain clarity. I am still angry, but I’m not seething. I’m able to put my anger aside and really think of what was going on. 
If you didn’t read my previous post about the camera, I will explain it here. My mom was in the hospital for about two weeks, dying of stage 4 kidney cancer. One day while I was up at the hospital, my mom randomly comes out and tells me that Satan told her she won this thing called the Nest. It’s a thermostat that you can control from any smartphone, when you are away from home. Not only did Satan win this hi-tech thermostat, it also came with an accompanied security camera. If that’s not amazing enough Satan was feeling generous that day and decided she wanted to GIVE her prize to my mom, because she didn’t need it. My mom told me she thought it was strange and that she didn’t want a camera in her house. I couldn’t have agreed more. It was extremely strange. First off, what type of “contest” did she enter that was giving away hi-tech thermostats? Secondly, why would Satan just want to gift my mom, whom she wasn’t even that close with, $450 worth of stuff, for no reason? It was extremely weird. 
Because Satan is a sociopathic narcissist, I take everything she says with a grain of salt. As we know, they went to my mom’s house one Saturday afternoon under the pretense that they were going to put the covers on her A/C wall units. The neighbor texted me that day and told me that my brother and Satan were at the house and they brought a friend along. I went there to confront them. Remember, these are 2 people who NEVER came to my mom’s house to do anything for her and all of the sudden, that she’s in the hospital in severely bad shape, they want to help. Once I got there they were gone and that was when I discovered the camera, sitting atop my piano, in my mom’s living room, with the trained on my old bedroom where my mom kept her safe. 
Re-telling this story made me angry about it all over again because when I thought about how they manipulated my mom, I realized how truly evil it all was. As I said, my mom was in really bad shape at that point in time and it was beyond clear to anyone who saw her. She had lost the ability to walk and control her bowels and bladder. They put her on oxygen because she was having trouble breathing from her severe anemia. To make matters worse, her transplanted kidney failed after 25 years and she needed to start on dialysis treatments again. Worst of all was we know knew that her cancer had spread beyond the kidney where it originated, via her lymphatic system. It was everywhere, in her lungs, her stomach and even on her tailbone and a bone in her leg. The prognosis was grim at best and it was becoming clear that she was rapidly declining and death was coming. During that time the doctor also spoke to me and told me that my mom was terminally ill and that they were suggesting she go on hospice. She had enough shit to worry about. She didn’t need a fucking camera in her house or a new thermostat. She needed her son to be there and to stop harassing her about getting her affairs in order.
The fact that Satan completely mislead her, is what I find the most disturbing. The way she presented it to my mom was that she won the thermostat in a contest and didn’t need it. She used the thermostat as her selling point, and the camera was secondary, kind of an added on bonus. When I discovered the camera; I checked the wall and sure enough her old dial thermostat was still there. Not only was the thermostat not installed, they didn’t even bring it wit them. The box for the thermostat was tucked away in a spare bedroom that she used as an office. When they went there to set up the camera, they didn’t tell my mom until afterwards. 
I had to fix my mom’s iPad one day because their stupid Nest app froze it. I brought it home and once I got it back up and running, I was able to get into the nest app. The app is a paid service. You must pay a monthly fee to be able to view and save your videos. The account was under my brother’s name and my mom was added as a guest of his, which meant he had full access to the camera. He proved that he would be checking up on it because later that night he went to my mom’s house (for the second time that day); and discovered the camera was missing, and so he text me asking why I took the camera that he GAVE to mom. If he was really giving it to her for any good reason, he would’ve let her sign up for her own account. They proved that they were just lending it to her until she died by threatening to bring me and my husband to court and sue us over it. 
I think what pisses me off the most was the intent. To this day I don’t know the exact reason why they planted the camera. What haunts me is wondering what reason they gave her for putting the camera in her house? She never told me, which leads me to believe it’s probably some bullshit lie they made up about me. I was completely confused while all of this shit was happening. I had asked my mom several times why they put the camera in there and she couldn’t even answer my question. At that point in time I really felt like there was NO ONE I could trust. Even my own mother. I started to think that maybe she was in on something with them. Maybe she was hiding something from me. Maybe she was falling for their fake care and concern for her. It just wasn’t making sense. 
In retrospect, I believe they put that camera in there to control me. They wanted me to know Things are starting to come together now and make sense. My brother told me and my husband at the funeral parlor, that my Uncle Bob had been advising him the whole entire time. A few days prior to that during an argument between him and I, he told me that he knew I was “trying to get [my mom] to write him out of her will.”. While that wasn’t even true, it could’ve only came from one source, Aunt Bea and Uncle Bob. Prior to the last few weeks of my mom’s hospital stay, Aunt Bea and Uncle Bob were pretty much the only family members that were friendly with my brother and his wife. Them telling my brother and Satan that was what ignited the fire under their asses to make sure he got his half of her estate. My brother is also an asshole for even believing my mother would EVER do anything like that. He and his wife verbally abused her me disrespected her for three years straight. They sent her into a horrible downward spiral and gave her horrible anxiety and depression, and look, my mom was STILL willing to have a relationship with them. My mom would never do something like that and my brother should’ve known better. Him believing it was because of his own guilt that he unquestionably carries with him for hurting her so badly. 
I do not think I could ever forgive my brother for what he put my mom through in the last month of her life. She deserved better. She deserved to die in a peaceful, stress free, drama free environment. For years I blamed Satan but at the end, my brother is just as much responsible as she is. He didn’t have to go along with her crazy plans but he did. I think the camera is a testament to the evilness of narcissists . It shows how they will stop at NOTHING to win. Satan is probably so used to getting her way. Her scare tactics and manipulations probably work on other people but they do not work on me. She has met her match. 

Now hiring, new family scapegoat. 

I’ve always felt different than a lot of the women in my family. I attribute that to my mom because she had grown up with three sisters and always felt like the black sheep. I was a tom boy as a kid and preferred hanging out with my brother and my cousin Benny at family parties over my female cousins. It wasn’t until recently that I realized i didn’t just feel different, I was different. I just have a different way of seeing things and viewing the world. It doesn’t mean I’m better than them, it just means I am different. 

Back in 2005 when the story came out that my older cousin Benny (who was in his late 20’s) had been sexually molesting one of our younger female cousins, I have felt tension between me and many members of my family, especially my Aunt Bea and Uncle Bob, Benny’s parents I think they blamed me for the embarrassment their family suffered as a result of the story coming to light. 
I was 24 at the time when the victim came to me and told me what was going on. That was an incredibly powerful secret and I was forced to make one of the most difficult decisions in my life. Either I tell her secret or risk more girls in the family being victimized. I really didn’t know how to handle the situation and so I reached out to get opinions from the people I trusted the most. Unfortunately they also lacked the know-how when it came to handling these types of situations and so they reached out to others for the same exact reason. Before you knew it, the whole family was involved in this crisis. 
When you have a really close extended family like the one I had, it’s hard to keep secrets. Growing up, I hid a lot from my mom because I knew my mom was always going to tell everyone what happened. My aunts and uncles always preached forgiveness, unconditional love and loyalty to the family, but those things go out the window, when something like his happens. Before I told anyone, I knew the magnitude of secret like this could potentially ruin the family. Naively, I believed it could be settled within the confines of our own family. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case.
I was not happy with the way things turned out. Not only was my cousin victimized she lost her entire family. The situation became something completely different than what it actually was. It became about who’s liked more and who does more for who. The fact that a little girl was victimized got completely lost in all the bullshit. I felt different than most of my family and when the topic came up, I had no problems discussing how I felt, even of how I felt was not how everyone else felt. The only ones who saw eve to eye on my was my Aunt Dana and her husband. 

That situation changed so much about me, but what’s more is it changed the way I looked at my family and likewise for them.
No one has ever exactly said that they blame me or are angry with me, but they also didn’t say they weren’t. All I knew was after that day, the way I was treated by certain members of my family was different. I earned a reputation as a big mouth because I wasn’t afraid to share my feelings and how wrong I thought it was that the victim was being re-victimized, time and time again, by the rest of her family. They blamed EVERYTHING on my Aunt Annie; the victim’s mother. It was all HER fault. Similar to what happened to me in the last year, my aunt was dealing with an extremely emotional and traumatic situation and my aunts overstepped their boundaries, causing my aunt Annie to lash out at them. Once my aunt Annie lashed out, that was it. It was all over. No one tried to call her and reason with her. No one apologized to her for being insensitive. Instead, they lit the torches up and grabbed the pitchforks. 
I am completely convinced that my Aunt Bea is a narcissist and my Aunt Debbie is one of her flying monkeys. They did the same thing to me that they did to my Aunt Annie. They intrusively overstepped boundaries and didn’t respect me, during a time I was going through the most emotionally devastating thing in my life. I said some words, I spit some truth at them, and it bruised their fragile little egos and because I didn’t apologize or kiss their asses, I became the bad guy. I am now the family scapegoat and EVERYTHING that goes wrong in their lives, is MY FAULT. 
I want to share with you guys some of the shit I have been blamed for in the last few months. From what I’ve read, this is typical in families where personality disorders exist. This is all stuff I’ve heard from other family members and most of it came from my aunt Bea. Although I have not interacted with them in slightly over a year, they are still blaming me for everything. . Their avoidance of talking to me and/or dealing with me is because they have guilt about things. Instead of facing their own guilt and shortcomings, they deflect everything on me.
Aunt Bea claims I robbed her of “precious moments” with my mom and she is angry with me for “leaving the hospital room” when her and my Aunt Debbie came to visit mom. 
This is just total and utter bullshit. I didn’t rob her of anything. I was not up at the hospital 24/7. There was plenty of time that she could’ve jumped in her car and drove out here by herself to spend quality, alone time with my mom. My aunt Bea cannot function without her husband and will only drive locally by herself. Anything out of the 5 mile radius of her town, she needs my uncle Bob to drive her. She could’ve driven herself to my mom’s house at anytime when she was home and spent the day with her but she always had to wait for my uncle. That is NOT my fault. The same goes for Aunt Debbie. She hardly made it to see my mom in the hospital. She would come once or twice a week at the same time as Aunt Bea. To. E honest, I was seriously shocked that she wasn’t there way more. Aunt Debbie is a very independent woman. She was a single mother for years and ran a household and worked a full-time job. 
As far as me leaving the hospital room while she was there…..I made a very conscious decision to do that and there were various reasons why. For starters there was tension there and my mom was already aware of the tension. For her sake, I felt it was better if I left so that she didn’t have to feel uncomfortable. I also didn’t want to be blamed for breathing down anyone’s neck and/or not allowing them time with my mom. They deserved private time with her too. Also, although I wasn’t there 24/7 I did spend the majority of my time there and so it was nice to get a break when someone else came to keep her company. I knew I was going to be blamed for something either way and so I went with the route that made ME the most comfortable. She only has herself to blame if she didn’t get enough time with my mom. She told my husband that she’d be at the hospital more, but she had to go home and feed her dogs. She has a grown adult daughter and son-in-law, living in an apartment adjacent to her house. I’m

Sure they could’ve filled in here and there and fed her dogs. It’s a sad excuse and while sometimes I like animals better than I like people, her and my mom supposedly were the closest of all the sisters. 
I am also blamed for my mom being angry with both her and my Aunt Debbie. Again, this is just total bullshit. My mom had been angry with my Aunt Bea since before she even knew she had cancer and it was because of the way Aunt Bea spoke to her and how Aunt Bea completely disregarded her feelings. When my mom died I found several argumentative messages between them. This all started with Aunt Bea being friends with my brother’s wife, who I call, Satan whom my mom and I were not getting along with. on Facebook. My mom felt like Aunt Bea wasn’t being supportive of her. Satan unfriended my mom on Facebook way back in the very beginning around the time my brother and her got married. My mom felt it was wrong of Aunt Bea to be friends with Satan on Facebook and to be complimenting her by commenting her on all her photos. Aunt Bea was well aware of all the fighting and disrespectfulness Satan showed towards my mom. My mom felt like my aunt B was sending a message to Satan that she thought my mom was an asshole too. Aunt B was made aware by several people, several times that what she was doing was upsetting my mom but she continued to do it. She had a choice to stop. She he had a choice to support her sister but she chose not to. To make matters worse she got in several arguments with my mom both on the phone and via Facebook messages. My mom would hang up with her and call me to complain about how Aunt Bea would make her feel like she was a horrible mother for being angry with her son. 
Probably one of the most ridiculous reasons that they are upset with me for, is because supposedly I upset my mother. Apparently my mom “complained” about me to them. Whatever it was, it was just a mother venting. We were so close that we were bound to get on one another’s nerves, and guess what? I complained about her too. It is called life. If I had to take a guess at what she was talking about, I would have to say it was all this bullshit with my brother. Im not going to lie, as hard as I tried to keep it out of her hospital room there were days it was obviously taking a toll on me and I brought it into her room. I was always real with my mom and so it was hard not to discuss those things. My mom didn’t want to deal with it. She didn’t want to deal with anything…her cancer, her kidney failure and me and my brother being estranged. She didn’t want to hear the very legitimate reasons I had because she wanted to die thinking we’d be ok and we’d be there for one another. Regardless of what my mom complained about, I know what I did and didn’t do to her. There’s nothing that she could’ve said about me that could excuse them or justify the way they’ve been treating me 
For a long time I started to think that maybe something was wrong with me. Maybe I was a horrible person. Maybe I was this animal who was going around starting shit with people for no good reason. It took me a very long time to come to the place where I am now, and where I am now is that I know I am not 100% to blame. I do bear responsibility and mostly for the way I reacted to things. In some cases I may have over reacted. I don’t want to make excuses but the reality was, I was dealing with the overwhelming stress of watching my mother die a slow and painful death. My mind wasn’t right. The fact that my aunts have absolutely no compassion for that is beyond appalling.
They can no longer blame my aunt Annie for the breakdown and deterioration of the family. She hasn’t been around in over a decade. Naturally someone had to step into her place as the new family scapegoat. They can keep pointing the blame on me for as long as they want because I truly believe in and one day the universe will get them back worse than I ever could.

The road to Freedom part 6 of 6. 

If you haven’t already, read parts one, two, three, four and five of this series. 

My lawyer called me with good news finally. My Aunts had decided to renounce their roles as executors of my mom’s estate. I sincerely couldn’t believe it. I wanted to jump up and click my heels in celebration. This meant two less assholes I had to deal with. It also meant a lot more, which I’ll get to in a bit. 
How it was going to work was, my lawyer was going to write up the agreement that would state that my aunts were going to resign. Then it would request me and my brother would become co-executors….but there was one more thing. My lawyer was going to also add in a stipulation that no one could stand in place of me or my brother. This meant Satan could shove her power of attorney form for my brother, up her ass. It is completely useless here. 
It was now the late may. My lawyer wrote up the agreement and I went down to his office to sign it. After that we waited weeks. I started to get nervous that they weren’t going to sign. Finally I found out that my couldn’t seem to get in contact with their lawyer. He wasn’t returning calls. After several times of me asking for updates, and so I wondered if that was just my lawyer making excuses or if that was really the case. I know this sounds crazy but, I was going to try to call their lawyers office and see if I could get him on the phone. I wasn’t going to talk to him . I searched his name on google so I could get his number. As I’m looking I see this PDF in my search results, with his name on it. I opened it up and found the biggest surprise I can imagine. Apparently their lawyer and some of his buddies of his decided it would be a good idea to come up with a fake medical marijuana company and sell fake stocks to people! All in all they made over $8 million dollars! I shit you not. This guy is in some pretty deep shit and owes the Feds over $4million, so he may be a bit of trouble. A few days later I decided to drive by his office and I had realized that his law practice was no longer in business. Upon further investigating, I found that he was working for some other law firm. 
Later that week my lawyer finally spoke to him and he promised to have the signed contracts over to him by the end of the week and by the end of the week he had finally sent it over. I hadn’t heard from my attorney and I started to wonder if everything was going ok. Our court dates were nearing and so last week reached out to my attorney to find out what was going on. Apparently their asshole lawyer, convinced my lawyer that it was ok to submit copies to the surrogates court. That’s not the case. The court wants original signatures and so that’s what we are waiting on today. 
As I have written this last series of posts, I look back and realize how differently I feel today as opposed to just 7 months ago. Going no contact with the people who’ve I depended on for my whole entire life hasn’t been easy. At the same time, I have realized how strong I am. I have made it through the hardest thing in my life, with basically no support except for my cousin Nikki, who has become an amazing friend and source of strength for me. Even though their paperwork hasn’t been fully accepted and admitted to the courts, I find myself feeling this calming sense of relief, just knowing it’s in the works. A HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For the past seven months I haven’t really been able to deal with my grief how can I with all this bullshit going on in my life? 
I know my mom would be terribly upset with the way things have turned out. I promised her on her last night here in earth that I’d fix things. I know one of her biggest worries was me being alone and having no one support me. On the other side, I think if my mom could see things from where she is, she would not only understand my choices but she’d support them. I hope she knows I’m ok. That I am going to survive and that going no contact with almost half of my family, was the best decision I’ve ever made. 
When you step outside of a situation you gain a better perspective. I have built my own, new little support system. I see a grief counselor and only surround myself with those who will listen and validate me. Through those channels, I have realized that the way my “family” operates isn’t healthy. In fact it’s very toxic. Normal families are not up in one another’s business like this. In real life I refuse to dignify my aunts and uncle with those titles anymore. My “aunts”, especially my aunt Debbie, display some serious characteristics of someone with a personality disorder. She is a stalker and continued to stalk not only me but the many other people she has harshly and cruelly x’d out of her life. I cannot associate myself with someone like that. 
I’d like to end this post off by talking about how I have evolved over the last seven months. I was so angry for so long. I mean I have carried anger towards my aunts and parts of my family now for over a decade. This goes all the way back to when Aunt Bea’s son molested my other cousin. I realize now that my Aunt Debbie and Aunt Bea played the biggest roles in that situation and I blame them for the way everything turned out. My Aunt Debbie had always disliked the victim’s mother and so she used her daughters molestation as a way to fuel her hate campaign against her. That’s what aunt Debbie does. When she doesn’t like someone, she can’t just quietly dislike them by herself. She needs to build up an army to go against them. She brainwashes everyone around her. That’s exactly what she did to the victim’s mother and it’s exactly what she was trying to do to me, however it backfired in her face, this time.
Anyway, i veered off there but I was so angry with them for soooo long and I was anxiously waiting for the day that I could expose them for the hideous creatures they are. I had so many plans in mind like, writing them nasty letters or making a video about all the crazy shit they did, and posting it on Facebook. I felt like I needed to publicly expose them for the frauds they are, but as time went on, I realized that I didn’t need to do any of that. Their own actions and words to other people made them look more like assholes than my words ever could. 
I have lost the desire to “get back at them”. Ultimately I realized they aren’t worth my time. You cannot make deaf people listen. Telling someone off and letting them know exactly what you think about them, involves a small amount of care. You have to care what those people think. I don’t give a rats ass anymore. I don’t care enough about them to let them know what I think. They thrive on drama and attention and I’m not giving them either. That is part of why I created this blog. It gives me an outlet to vent and get out my feelings about them without them even knowing. It’s all anonymous and there’s a better chance of being struck by lightening than there is a narcissist trying to understand themselves and other human beings. This type of blog simply wouldn’t captivate their attention. 

The road to freedom part 5 of 6

If you haven’t already, read parts one, two, three & four of this series. 

It had been over six months since I had spoken to my aunts or my brother and his wife, whom I affectionately refer to as Satan. (I hope you see the sarcasm there). 

I had ignored every attempt of theirs to try and get to me to, “come out of my face”, as my cousin Nikki would say. That’s what they were expecting from me because in the past year of my life, that’s how I reacted to the stupid bullshit from them. Little did they know though, I had taken on a new way of dealing with them and that was to go completely “no contact” and ignore them, but for the month and a half following my mom’s car being repossessed by the bank, the letters and the constant harassment of my Aunt Dana, I decided it was time to make a move. 
As I mentioned a few posts back, I objected to my aunts being the executors of my mom’s will. The purpose of me doing that was to rattle their cages. The ultimate goal was to make things difficult enough that my aunts would just give up. Two months had passed since my objection was filed, and it was nearing the time of our first court date where all the involved parties were being deposed. I started to get nervous because my aunts were being very stubborn and seemed to have all intentions of fighting me, and carrying out their executive duties. I had ignored all the attempts to get me to back down, but since they decided to continuously harass my Aunt Dana with this stupid bullshit, I finally cracked. Trying to make my life miserable was one thing, but bullying her with this bullshit, it was completely fucked up. 
I called my lawyer and asked if I could write to them. He told me yes, so long as I didn’t say or do anything illegal or threatening. I had no plan doing anything if the sorts and so I sat down and opened the notes app on my phone. It took me a bit, but I sat down and tried to write them a letter. I didn’t want the letter to sound confrontational in the least bit, but I wanted them to know I meant business, and that I wasn’t about to suck it up, back down or give in to their shit. Also, if they were going to dance with the devil (my brother’s wife) and my brother, then they should know who they’re dancing with,  and how they’ve been lying, not only to me, but most likely to them and everyone else. I was sick of all the shit being talked about me and the lies they were spreading and so I finally decided to set the record straight. Just as my brother did, I sent it to the entire family only I used the CC option, because I wanted him to know that everyone was going to know what a liar he was, and so this is what I wrote. (In my original letter I  included evidence in the form of texts and screen shots which aren’t shown here) 

Debbie and Bea
I am writing this letter because I would like to clear up a few things that I have been hearing and seeing in the past few weeks. I also want to explain to you why I am objecting to my mom’s will and what I am trying to accomplish. 
As far as my objection goes, as you can see in the court documents, my objection basically says that there is a conflict of interest as far as your representation goes. [my brother] used [his lawyer] when he improperly filed for Letters of Administration. You guys
are also using him to file your petitions, and that’s a conflict of interest. None of this was ever discussed with me who by all intents and purposes, shares a 50% interest in the estate. I filed my mom’s will, based on two facts, one being because that is the PROPER thing to do when someone dies, testate. She had a will and [my brother] knew this prior to filing his affidavit that claimed he did diligent search for a will and determined none existed. As you can see from the court documents he was lying. Secondly, I filed the will because I wanted a document in the courts that stated that my mom’s wishes were to divide up her assets 50/50 between her two children. Who the executors were was completely irrelevant at that point in time. My mom and dad paid [family lawyer] to draft their wills for a reason, to protect me and my brother and their assets. Why would we want to pretend there was no will? 

My personal objection to you two being executors, which doesn’t matter as much in legal sense, is that I tried to reach out to you a total of five times after I filed the will and neither of you responded. I haven’t spoken to either of you in a total of 6 months. Clearly you have continued communication with my brother. You are all using the same lawyer and he and his family are invited over for holidays, friends on Facebook, etc. with that said, I am supposed to think my opinion will matter when it comes to making decisions for the estate, when no one will speak to me, no matter how cordially I approach you? I’m sorry, but I am not taking that chance. Those are my mother’s things too. It’s
bad enough her car was already repossessed after I was being told ALL of the bills were being paid. (See attached email from my brother). I have done extensive reading and research and have a full understanding of the estate process. Also, my lawyer has about 30+ years experience in these types of matters, and he has thoroughly explained to me the my options and the possible consequences and outcomes, again in which I fully understand. I may be wrong but it’s my personal belief that neither of you have even personally dealt with [their lawyer] and instead you are communicating with him by proxy. Had you been in contact with him then you’d probably know all of what I’m about to say. 
I don’t know who informed you that I was looking to hire a public administrator but that is not what I am hoping for. What I am hoping for is to make things fair for BOTH people who have a shared interest in the estate, me and [my brother] 

. I am not looking for anything more than my 50% share and to have some say in what happens to her belongings and property. That 50% gives me every right to know what’s going on. My lawyer has already explained this to [their lawyer] in phone calls, over the last two Fridays. Contrary to what you believe, the ball is entirely in your court at this point in time. It seems your lawyer hasn’t fully explained your options. If you both truly are concerned with my mother’s hard earned money and property, as you allege to be, and you don’t want to see her assets being squandered and wasted on lawyers, you both can very easily assure that doesn’t happen. You do have the option to resign as executors and that would help expedite the process, assuring no more assets are wasted. In that event, my attorney and [my brother’s] attorney would then amicably agree, and request that the courts appoint me and [my brother] as co-executors. If you want to do something that “really matters” for my mom, that would be your best option. [my brother] and I are grown adults. In 1996 when my mom and dad wrote their wills there was no way they could foresee the breakdown and deterioration of our relationships. If you’d like to hear what my mom’s real and more current last wishes were, you are more than welcome to contact the lawyer who came up to the hospital. He is granted to work pro-bono with cancer patients at [hospital’s name] hospital, his name is [hospital lawyer’s] and he can be reached at [phone number and name of law firm]. Her wishes as of November 10th, 2016 were to make [my brother] and I, co-executors, unfortunately she died before that could happen. Since me and [my brother] are grown adults and neither of you have any interest in her estate, and do not plan on being compensated for your service, then there should be no reason as to why you wouldn’t step aside and let him and I handle it. If you choose to pursue your roles as executors then it will be dragged out until next November, and there is no doubt about it. In an email sent to me a few weeks ago, [my brother] seemed very confident that I was going to lose my objection. Just know, if I was going to lose my objection and I had no chance, the judge easily could’ve denied my objection right then and there and appointed you as executors. If we don’t hear back from you in a timely manner then we are going to make a motion to have a temporary public administrator appointed so that the bills that have been piling up for the last four months, can finally be paid. He or she will be compensated for their service at a rate of 1-3% of the entire value of my mom’s estate. The decision is up to you. Just know that should you chose to fight my objection it is going to be very costly for all the involved parties. 

Thank you,

[me] 


Ps. As far as the bills go, they have NOT been being paid by my brother, that is yet another lie. After the car was repossessed, I started to look into everything. I cannot see the bills because the billing addresses have been changed. My mom’s car address has been being sent to [their lawyer’s address] . The rest are
going to [my brother’s address] I was unaware of this until recently. Had I been able to see the statements, I would’ve made sure my mom’s car didn’t get repossessed. Since [their lawyer] was receiving the bills, he can be held liable. I do plan on checking with the Bar Association if that’s even ok for him to do. I spent three days making phone calls and requesting statements. As far as I can see the only bills that he had paid was possibly 2 months of the homeowners insurance. I paid the past due balance that was due in March 20th and the rest of the balance for the year so the house in insured until next March. The only other bill that was paid was the electric. No other bills have been paid. If [my brother] has been paying bills, why is every single bill in default? You can see the attached statements.”



My brother told my aunts that he and Satan had already laid out $12,000 and that’s why they could no longer keep up with the bills. I would love to see an accounting for that amount of money because they sure didn’t lay it out to pay bills of any sort for my mom’s estate. They are full of shit. I’m sure they paid some retainer fees for their attorney, as did I, but if they’re more than $3000, they got majorly ripped off! Anyway, that’s not my problem. I didn’t tell them to lie and say my mom didn’t have a will. They damn well knew she did and my brother told my husband he was going to file for letters of admin, whether I agreed to it or not. He can go fuck himself, if he thinks he will be getting any of that back! I am so utterly disappointed in the person my brother has become. The old him would NEVER do ANY of this. 
After that letter was sent it was like dead silence. They all fell off the grid. Aunt Dana’s phone stopped ringing and there was nothing but crickets for miles. At the very least, I shut them up. A few days later, on a Friday afternoon, I got a phone call from my lawyer. He had spoken to their lawyer and was told that they were going to write up an agreement that my aunts were going to renounce their roles as executors. I won…

The road to freedom part 4 of 6

If you didn’t read parts 1,2 & 3 I would suggest doing so before reading here, here and here



My brother and Aunts were doing everything in their power to try to get me to drop my objection to my aunts being the executors of my mom’s will. Clearly they were worried about something.
It was only three days after I got my brother’s letter that I received a text from my mom’s neighbor telling me that there was a flatbed truck in my mom’s driveway, and her car was being repossessed. For whatever reason, I didn’t see the text right away, and by time I did the car was long gone. The neighbor however, was kind and thoughtful enough to ask the driver if she can get the personal belongings from the inside of the car and he allowed her to do so. 
As anyone can imagine, I was confused. Back in early December my brother sent me a letter where he stated that he would be paying all the bills until an estate account was established. He specifically named the “car note” amongst others things, and said he was paying them.  That’s when a lightbulb went off and I went back to his most recent letter where he wrote that the car was going to be repossessed. I raised an eyebrow to that when I had originally read the letter. How is the car getting repossessed if he was paying it and also, how did he even know the car was about to get repossessed? Also why was there a $600 balance with the oil company when he said he was paying for the oil? 
This all raised a lot more questions and so I decided to seriously start looking into things. I started off with my mom’s car and called the loan company. I wanted to know where it was, if and how we can get it back, as well as when the last time a payment was made towards it. After giving my mom’s info,  the man answered my question by telling me that I needed to speak to Satan, my brother’s wife, because she had all of the info, and he couldn’t tell me anything. I don’t know if I could adequately articulate how infuriating that was to hear. I started to get a little emotional on the phone and I asked the guy how she, who’s an in-law, was able to get the info, but me, her flesh and blood daughter, who owns half of the car, can’t get any info. He told me that she supplied some type of documentation, either a power of attorney or proof that she was the  executor. I started getting even more angry because if they received any such documents, they were false. I explained to him that there was no executors or anyone for the estate, and so no one should be able to talk to them. 
I was so angry when I hung up the phone that day. I tried to call back and speak to a different person…..four different people actually…….in four separate calls, and eventually I was able to find out that since my brother’s name is on the death certificate, they could speak with him, so she, Satan,  supplied her “power of attorney” over my brother. Quite honestly I was hoping they had forged documents. It would’ve put an end to them doing anymore shady shit. 
I was really frustrated at this point with the lack of answers I was getting, and then I suddenly realized that I could possibly view her bill online. My mom let me use her email and passwords sometimes for some subscriptions services she has and so I tried those on the loan company’s website. I gained access to her account, but since it was now in collections, none of the info was displayed. The only thing I was able view was her profile information and that’s when I noticed that someone had changed the billing address from my mom’s address to my brother’s and Aunts’ attorney’s  office. I couldn’t even believe it. Their lawyer was receiving her mail and illegally giving it to them to open. 
For months I also wondered where all of her mail was going. It was still coming to the house for a few weeks after she passed, but one day it just suddenly stopped. Technically no one should be allowed to forward the mail. I wondered if it was just in hold at the post office, but when I went to the post office, I hit another dead end where they couldn’t give me any info. I should’ve known better than to trust my brother’s word that he was taking care of everything, but since they were hiding the mail, I was unable to see anything. That same week I got a collection call from my mom’s oil company. The man that called was actually very nice and easy to talk to. He informed me that my brother gave him my number and told him I am taking care of all the bills!. It was just more manipulation, bullying and pressuring for me to drop my objection. I also got a call from another loan company looking for money. I now knew that I had to look into every account my brother said he was paying and sure enough, NONE were paid since the beginning of November and those payments were made by my mom, herself. As far as I was able to tell, he may have paid one month of homeowners insurance and gave the electric company (who is very lenient) $100 or so to keep the lights on. At the most, he laid out a couple of hundred dollars. More lies from him and Satan. 

I didn’t respond to either of the two letters I received. Since they couldn’t get a reaction out of me that way, they tried a different route. They tried manipulating my aunt Dana, my mom’s youngest sister,  instead because they knew her and I still had a good relationship. At that time my aunt Dana was dealing with enough of her own personal bullshit. She had a lot of really serious shit going on in her household. Worst of all was my uncle’s health issues. He had a stroke earlier in the year and he was having all sorts of other problems. He was getting a double hip replacement the day after Easter, but that didn’t stop aunt Debbie from calling my aunt Dana and arguing with her about me and all this other petty nonsense, like aunt Dana’s daughter, unfriending Aunt Bea, Aunt Debbie and a few others on Facebook. They were trying to use aunt Dana to manipulate and scare me, and so every time her and I spoke, I was hearing more and more bullshit.
Again, none of this shit was ANYONE else’s business. My Aunt Debbie was going crazy because she thought my mom’s personal belongings were still in the car. She was also freaking out because I had the keys to my mom’s car, at my house. I took the keys back when she first died because I figured if someone broke into the house, they could steal her car too. It’s called, protecting the assets. She was telling my aunt Dana that the car was getting auctioned off during the first week of April and that it was going to cost us tons of money for the lost keys and stuff. She also told my aunt that my mom’s house was going to go into foreclosure because of some (small) home equity loan she had out. I mean there was just so much bullshit going on, it wasn’t even funny. 

The biggest problem was that both my brother and my aunts completely underestimate me. They think I am just some dumb ass, stay at home mom who has no idea what goes on in the grown up world. They couldn’t be more wrong about me. I knew most of what they were saying was bullshit. First off I had all the personal stuff from my mom’s car and it was all useless crap. Second, there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop the car from being auctioned off. She thought it was going to cost us money. I knew my mom had very little left on her loan and if anything we’d break even. As for her house foreclosing, that wasn’t going to happen! My mom owned her home free and clear. She had paid off her mortgage after my dad passed in 2006. She took out a small home equity loan a few years ago to remodel her bathroom. It was less than $10,000 and she had paid at least half off. A small home equity loan wouldn’t cause her house to “foreclose”. A lien would be placed on the property until the loan was paid off. She also brought up the taxes. My mom had paid half her yearly taxes and we had three years before we got penalized. It was all bullshit and scare tactics in an attempt to manipulate me, once again into dropping my objection. 
A month or so had passed since my objection was filed and they were really starting to wear on my nerves. I have to say, I am pretty damn proud of myself for not reacting to their shit or adding anymore fuel to the fire. It was extremely hard for me to bite my tongue and not tell them what disgraceful assholes they really were. The old me definitely would’ve went ballistic and ripped them to shreds by now, but I have taken on a new approach to dealing with these toxic assholes. I am no longer going to be their supply. The best part in all of this was that I really didn’t have to say anything to anyone about them. They were doing a pretty good job at showing people how ugly they were, all on their own. 
One day my aunt Dana called me to tell me that my grandmothers bed was broken. Back when my died and we were at her house between the viewings for her wake, without thinking it would be a problem, I told her she could have my mother’s bed. I sincerely didn’t think my brother would want to sleep in her bed, and I wasn’t giving up my king sized mattress for a queen, and so I didn’t see the problem. After all, I can say with almost 100% certainty that my mom would want my grandmother to have it. A few days later my brother told me that I can’t just be “giving things away.”. He also told my husband that “everything has a price tag” including the bed. He is a sick fuck. 

Then after my brother lied and tried to bypass my mom’s will by improperly filing for letters of administration, he wrote me a letter and acted as if it was his idea to give my grandmother the bed. Again, sick fuck. 

My aunt Dana asked me if I could write a letter giving permission for my grandmother to take the bed, and she told me she was going to ask my brother to do the same. I hung up with her and wrote her a letter, but I tried to make it sound as “lawyer like” as I could. I would agree to the bed being given away so long as my brother agreed too, and I would need his consent before fully agreeing. I didn’t want him to try to find any loops holes where he could later claim I stole the bed and owe him money or something…..although how much do used beds go for these days? Well surprise, surprise, my brother didn’t respond to my aunt. It took him a few days and when he finally did talk to her he told her that since I was holding everything up in court, he wasn’t going to give his permission to let my grandmother take the bed. Another manipulative move to try and use my grandmother to guilt me into dropping my objection. What kind of asshole punishes their grandmother like that? Well, I guess the same asshole who threatens their mother that she won’t see her grandchild unless she kisses his crazy wife’s ass. 
At this point in time I have to admit. They all started to get to me. They were non-stop harassing my aunt Dana, and I think that’s what was pissing me off more than anything. Aunt Dana was trying to care for her ailing husband amongst other very serious issues, and they had absolutely no respect for her. They just kept at it. Calling her up, talking shit about me, fighting with her and arguing with her. I know EXACTLY what it’s like because they did the same thing to me to me when I was trying to care for my dying mother. I wanted and needed to put a stop to it. 
Please see part 5 for the rest of the story. 

The road to Freedom part 3 of 6

If you didn’t read Part one and Part two of this series, I would suggest you do before reading this one. If you didn’t, I’ll catch you up. My brother had finally found out that I was objecting to my aunts being appointed as executors of my mom’s estate and he sent me (and other family members) a manipulative letter to try and scare, guilt and bully me into dropping my objection. I will discuss that further in my next post. 
A day or so after I got my brother’s letter, I also received a letter from my Aunt Bea. Of all people I don’t know why she or any of them thought she was going to be the “voice of reason” to me, because it’s no secret that she isn’t my favorite family member. It’s so ridiculous that it’s almost not worth sharing here, but since I shared my brother’s letter, I should share hers too because it is another load of useless horse shit and it shows how manipulative these people are. I’ve explained this before, but my aunt Bea is sort of an invalid. She’s not the brightest bulb in the box. She sort of lives in a bubble of her own creation. She lives in a world where everything is perfect, and people are dancing on rainbows and riding unicorns. She does not live in reality like the rest of us. She would never be able to handle independently managing her own life, let alone trying to settle an estate. She’s one of those women who relies way too heavily on her husband. He does just about everything to for. I will never forget a few years ago having a conversation with her about this store that’s in the next county over from us and she told me she’d have to wait for my uncle to bring her there because she has never driven on the main highway where we live. We live on a small island and that highway is the pretty much the main artery to get where you’re going. I couldn’t believe she has never driven on it by herself in the 35+ years she’s lived here. With that said, I wasn’t expecting her to be doing much as the executor of my mom’s will and so she wrote me this letter, which was a really (really, really, really) dumbed down version of my brother’s letter. 

“[my name] 

I’m writing you to assure you that everything is going to be alright.

I understand that you have suddenly objected to Aunt Debbie and I being the executors of your Mom’s will. When you submitted the will you showed confidence that our intentions were to carry out her will and wishes. You were right. We loved your Mom. There isn’t anything we wouldn’t have done for her when she was here. She loved you both and it was her will to have US handle her estate. This is our last chance to do something that really matters for her.

Your Mom worked so hard for what she had in life. She didn’t want to give up work….even at the very end! She amazed the hell out of me! She never took the easy way out. She would want to see you bothenjoy that hard earned money. I don’t think she would be too keen on unnecessarily hiring someone to carry out her wishes. Just know too that the people you are looking to hire don’t have any love invested and the end result wouldn’t change.


Trust in the loyalty we have to our family. Both Aunt Debbie and I would never treat you unfairly…nor do we have the power to. We will always be connected whether we want to be or not. Just remember we all have one thing in common. We Love your Mom very much and we are ALL broken hearted that she has left us. 

Aunt Bea”



There is so much to say about this short letter. First off, I love how she thinks I’m actually going to feel “assured” solely by her words. I hadn’t talked to her or any of them in over 5 months, at this point in time. I had reached out quite a few times, but they ignored me each time. Suddenly when I got you buy the balls, you want to talk? Also, I don’t know how me entering my mom’s will “showed confidence” in her and my Aunt Debbie. I entered the will, ummmmm, because that’s what you do when someone dies and they have a will! I also entered the will because it was a legal document that stated my brother and I were to split everything 50/50. Who the executors were, was completely irrelevant at that point in time. 

Trust in the loyalty we have to our family.”

Of the whole letter this part probably irks me the most “You were right. We loved your Mom. There isn’t anything we wouldn’t have done for her when she was here. She loved you both and it was her will to have US handle her estate. This is our last chance to do something that really matters for her.”. They “loved her so much” and there “wasn’t anything they wouldn’t have done for her while she was here”???? Is she kidding? They didn’t do shit for her! She’d do anything, except try to help me talk to her about depression, except spending more time with her, except trying to get through to her, except SHOWING HER SOME GOD DAMN LOVE AND SUPPORT, but yeah….nothing you wouldn’t do. The most infuriating of all is the last sentence there. “This is our last chance to do something that really matters for her.“. They had plenty of chances to do something that mattered for her while she was here but they did NOTHING. She is gone now and so nothing they do will matter to her anymore. Fuck her. Why does she deserve a chance? Why is that MY problem. 
I’ll skip the whole paragraph about her hard earned money, but I’ll say this…her hard earned money is none of her’s or anyone else’s fucking business. Period.
I guess my Aunt Bea thinks that just because she’s saying something, it makes it true. How can I trust in the “loyalty” in our family when loyalty doesn’t exist in it? She wouldn’t know what loyalty was if it kicked her in the vagina. She states they’d never treat me unfairly…..I guess ignoring my attempts to reach out amicably is “fair”? I guess using the same lawyer as my brother without consulting with me is “fair”? I guess having my brother over for holidays and not me is “fair”? I guess blocking me on Facebook and all other social media platforms is also “fair”? I mean is she fucking kidding me with this bullshit about being fair? If they didn’t have the power to royally fuck me over, my lawyer wouldn’t have wasted his time writing an objection for me and entering it into court. The line about is being connected for ever is creepy and a very scary thought. So fucking manipulative. Notice that no where in there do they say they love me. She couldn’t even write “love, Aunt Bea” at the end. 
A year or so ago, my brother’s letter and her letter may have broken me, but I was determined to keep fighting for myself, and my mother’s memory. They weren’t going to push me around this time. 

After receiving these letters, shit really started to pop off and I will continue discussing it in my next post…

The road to freedom Part 2 of 6

Please see part one of this post before reading here. 
If you read my post about my confrontation with my brother and Satan, his wife, at my mom’s house, then you know what happened after my brother found out that I had filed the will. If you didn’t read it, you can read it here. (Trust me, it’s a worthy read). To summarize, I caught my brother and Satan removing items from my mom’s house after she died. At that point no one was appointed as executor and no one had authority to remove items and/or tell anyone they could remove items from her home. In fact, prior to this I was told by my brother that I wasn’t allowed to take anything from the house. That night, my brother accused me of forging the letter that was sent to me along with my mom and dad’s wills, by the lawyer who wrote them. All the letter said was that I had got in contact with him and requested the original copies of the wills. What good forging that would do……well your guess is as good as mine! Basically said, my brother was pissed that his attempt to gain control over my mom’s estate and make some extra money while he’s at it, was foiled.
When I filed the will in mid December I tried reaching out to one of the named executors, my Aunt Debbie. At that point, I didn’t even bother with my Aunt Bea, the other named executor. I know my aunt Bea, and this stuff is all way over her head. I knew her participation as executor was going to be extremely limited and my Aunt Debbie was going to do most, if not all of the work. I sent aunt Debbie an email and I text her. In all I tried to reach out peacefully and amicably, five separate times to try to talk things out and move past things, so we can carry out my mom’s wishes in the way she wanted us to…….in return I got nothing but crickets. She never responded. At this point in time I was starting to get a little nervous. My Aunt Debbie and Aunt B were essentially in control of my life at this point. They were in control of my memories. They were in control of the only thing that was left of my family and I started to get really nervous. 
After the incident at my mother’s house with my brother and his wife, and then me subsequently finding out that she ran right to my aunts and they comforted her, it was over. There were just too many red flags, and it was becoming clear to me that I wasn’t going to be treated fairly. My aunts wouldn’t speak to me no matter how amicably I tried to approach them. They were even using my brother’s lawyer to represent them. It was becoming very clear to me that I was the odd man out. It was clear at this point that my aunts were on my brother’s side and not mine. They can pretend all they want, but BOTH of my aunts know who was really there for my mom. They knew how much I did for her, and they knew my brother and his wife weren’t there. They knew how my mom felt about her. They knew what my mom’s wishes were. 
Their anger for me and hatred of the truth and reality, started to over power their love and respect for my mom, and that’s when I decided that I had to take action and put a stop to this crazy shit. I voiced my concerns to my lawyer and that was when he told me that I had a right to contest the will and object to my aunts being the executors. Will contests are very costly and I knew this prior to going into this. I was not looking to piss away my inheritance, but at the same time, I wasn’t going to take that chance that my memories would be stolen from me and so when my aunts finally decided to file their paperwork in march, my lawyer filed an objection for me. 
Most likely when push came to shove, I didn’t have much on my aunts except for their negligence to protect the assets, and the fact that they were telling my brother and Satan they can go on a shopping spree in my mother’s house. The problem here was that my aunts were CLEARLY showing favoritism to my brother and refusing to communicate with me. They were having him over for dinners and holidays. They were still friends with him and his wife on Facebook (me and my husband were both blocked), and what was probably the most unfair to me was they they were all using the same legal counsel. In fact, my brother paid the retainer for the lawyer so he can file their petitions to the court. I’m not sure how any of that would’ve fared in court. Technically we had no solid proof or evidence on any wrong doing on the part of my aunts, but since they were so closely tied with my brother, who was perjuring himself and doing all sorts of other crazy shit (which I will get to shortly) it wasn’t looking good for them. The goal of me filing the objection was to sort of ruffle their feathers and rattle their cages (god, if only they were in cages….my life would be a lot easier). All joking aside, we just wanted to throw up some type of road block to make their lives more difficult. I had no intention of bringing this to litigation. 
I filed my objection in early March, sometime during the first week. Things were pretty quiet after that, for a few weeks. Boy was I anxious as I awaited to hear something back. It was like the quiet before the storm. Finally on March 30th, my cousin Nikki called me… I answer the phone and she’s like, “holy shit! Did you read that email?”. “What email?” I asked, and she was like, “Holy shit, your brother sent an email to everyone in the family.”. Sure enough I open up my inbox and here is what I saw. 
[My name]
I’ve heard that you are in the process of objecting to the Will that

you and your attorney filed in Surrogates Court, which divides mom’s

estate 50/50. Your objection will not change the settlement of the

estate, it will waste away the money she worked so hard for.  

I was under the impression that since YOU filed the Will, which names Aunt Debbie and Aunt Bea as executrices, you would sign the Waiver and Consent as I did, and Letters Testamentary would be issued

shortly. Thus an estate account would start paying all of her expenses instead of me. Since you are dragging this out with the next court date is 11/13/2017 (see attached Pre-Trial Order), I will NOT be paying any more expenses. 

Specifically: 

  • I won’t be paying the oil bill. The account has a $600+balance and no more oil will be delivered and the heat will be turnedoff. The oil will not last till 11/13/2017. 
  •  I won’t be paying the electric bill. The electric will be disconnected.
  •  I won’t be paying the water bill.
  • I won’t be paying the homeowner’s insurance for the house. Once squatters or vandals are in house no damage they cause will be covered.
  • The car payment is several months past due. The car will be repossessed.
  • Due to the house being vacant, without utilities, and apparently abandoned, it will be susceptible to vandalism, squatters and/ortheft.

I understand that you’re concerned that you’re not going to be treated fairly in the settling of the Estate. I also understand that you’re concerned that mom’s wishes aren’t going to be carried out. 
Consider that: 

  •  A Public Administrator is answerable to Surrogate’s Court and has the same fiduciary responsibilities as executrices do. If you feel that you are being treated unfairly by either, your remedy is the same; you file a complaint with Surrogates Court and they compel the Administrator or executrix to comply with the Will.
  • A Public Administrator’s is not a free public service. It will cost over $18,000, while Aunt Debbie  and Aunt Bea would be free. (Not true they could’ve collected up to 3% of the entire value of the estate) 
  • The Public Administrator ALSO hires an attorney with additional legal fees in the neighborhood of $5,000. 
  • The Estate’s attorney’s fee will be nearly $15,000 to defendagainst these objections and I imagine your attorney’s fee will be similar 
  • The sum of these fees will be at least $50,000 if not more and in the end the estate will be divided 50/50 as mom wished.
  • If you continue with this and when you lose the case in November, the Estate will NOT pay your attorney’s fees.
  • The Estate’s attorney WILL be paid by the Estate to defend against your case. Half of the fee to defend against your objections will be paid by your inheritance.  All of the fee to prosecute your objections will also be paid by you.

If you truly are concerned that mom’s wishes be carried out and that the estate’s assets not be squandered, as your sworn affidavit states, then it would be in your best interest to drop these objections and let your aunts do what mom trusted them to do!”

I have NEVER read such a load of vile bullshit in my life. I love how he thinks I’m stupid and my lawyer did not explain the consequences to me. Before I even get into it, I should explain that this email was forwarded to several other family members, which is sick. What’s even more sick, is that he BCC’d them. For anyone who’s not familiar with email language, there’s “CC” and “BCC”. When you compose an email you can send it to more than one person using the “CC” (carbon copy) box. When the email is received on the other end, they will be able to see who else the email was sent to because the names will be displayed on the header of the email. When you use “BCC” (blind carbon copy) you can send the email to multiple people but the original recipient won’t be able to see who else received the email. I had no idea you could even do this until now. Just another shady move in Satan’s playbook. 

Obviously this was not not only in an attempt to manipulate me, but them as well. I do not know if my brother alone was capable of writing such a manipulative letter. He may have worded it, but I don’t know if he’s responsible for all of the content, because of how highly manipulative it is. Personally, I believe his lawyer is an idiot if he advised him to write this. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter who wrote it. What matters was what it’s intent was. He was trying to accomplish two things here. One was obviously trying to scare, guilt and bully me into dropping my objection. The other was trying to paint me as a difficult person who’s making things hard and wasting time and money. He also wanted to make it seem as if I were trying to fight him for his half of the money, however when he sent the letter, he also attached two court documents. One of those documents clearly states what my objection is about, and NO WHERE in there does it say or even imply that I’m contesting anything that’s stated in the will. I wasn’t contesting the will. I was contesting the appointment of my aunts as the executors, which I had every right to do. I also love how he’s so confident I was going to lose my case by saying, “When you lose your case in November….”
As far as all the bullet points he shared, in the last set, his mathematics and arithmetics were completely off, according to my lawyer. I don’t know who gave him those figures, but they were way off. What’s more important than those however, are the other set in the beginning of the letter where my brother lists off everything he won’t be paying anymore and what the consequences to that will be. I will get more into that in my next post. 

The road to freedom part 1 of 6

Well, well, well, it’s been quite a while since I updated this blog. I took a break from blogging because this whole story, this life; these people…..they were sucking the life out of me. Re-telling this entire story was a lot on me emotionally. Reliving the horror that was the last year and a half of my life, it was emotionally draining. I am not just mourning the loss of my mother. It is so much more than that. I am mourning the loss of life as I once knew it. I lost so much more than just my mom. I lost my family. I lost the support system that I counted on for 34 years. I lost them somewhat by choice but nevertheless it’s still a loss and a huge adjustment. Going no contact with the people you have depended on for your whole entire life is not for the faint of heart. 
 I began to feel paralyzed in life. Like I had no control over my future, my own feelings, my grief and most importantly, the memories of my family. I felt like I was being held hostage. My anger, my disappointment, with my family was eating me alive, day and night. I was ruminating and obsessing about how I was wronged and how angry I was at my aunts, my brother, his wife and my uncle Bob. How badly I wanted to retaliate. I was obsessed with revenge. I couldn’t wait for the day that I could finally put two middle fingers in the air and say FUCK YOU, to all of them and be on my merry way………
Well that day has finally come…..sort of…….
If you’re new here or found this blog via an interwebs search I will give you a brief summary of what has taken place as far as my mom’s estate, since she has passed. Let me preface this by saying, I knew absolutely NOTHING about the estate settling process prior to my mom’s death. All I knew was that people had wills and you needed lawyers. I didn’t have time to research it, nor did I want to research it, because prior to my mom’s death, my concern was her, being with her, caring for her, protecting her, and most importantly, spending as much time as I could with her, because I knew our time here was limited. 
With that said, I didn’t think the estate settlement process was all that complicated, especially given the case that my mom had a will that stated everything was to be divided up between my brother and myself, 50/50. By all intents and purposes it should be pretty cut and dry. Well, when there’s a narcissist in the mix, it throws a narcissistic monkey wrench in all of your plans. It was two days after we said our final goodbyes, to my mom, Black Friday to be exact, that my husband got a text from my brother that read, “I saw a lawyer today, either [me] can hand over the will that names my Aunt Bea and aunt Debbie as executrix or I will be going to court on Monday to file for administration.”. I had no idea wtf any of that meant, but thanks to Professor Google, I got a crash course in the basics of estate settlement and surrogates court procedures. That Saturday, my brother followed up with a phone call to my husband, trying to manipulate him into manipulating me, to go along with whatever he was going to do. Basically he tried to convince my husband that I’m some type of lazy, irresponsible, foot dragging, teenage like, type person who was going to slow down the process and prevent him and Satan from collecting the maximum possible inheritance that they can get. I’ll admit, my husband was almost fooled because my brother, he is an intelligent person, (in some regards) and he knows how to put together a very convincing argument. I was woken up by this, that morning and I was livid because I knew EXACTLY what my brother was doing. You see when you are an executor or administrator, you are privy to collecting a “fee” for your services. It can be anywhere up to 3% of the estate and in an estate my mom’s size, you are talking an extra $15,000 – 20,000. All I could hear was my mom in the back of my head saying, “I don’t want that bitch having any of my money.”. After all I had been through, after how horribly they treated my mom for the last three years, I wasn’t about to let that happen. They did absolutely NOTHING to help her while she was sick and suffering. They just wanted to be in control because for narcissists like Satan, being in control of everything around them, is the only thing they know how to do. 
My mom and dad paid a lawyer to draft wills for them for a reason. That will was in there to protect not only my mom’s assets, but to protect me and my brother. Why would we act as if there was no will? One of the selling points my brother made to my husband was that the administration process was going to be much quicker than probating the will. That was a complete and utter lie. In a true “intestate” (death without a will) situation, because there is no will in place, and therefore no named heirs, the court needs to locate the heirs. They must do so by seeking out ALL next of kin after someone has filed for letters of administration. They do so by notifying them that “person A” has filed for letters of administration (meaning they will take on the same role as an executor). The court must then wait for each and every next of kin to respond, this can include siblings, children and surviving parents, etc.  Each has the right to object to the person becoming the administrator. Basically put, it takes just as long if not longer than probate. 
I wasn’t about to agree to anything my brother said without first speaking to a lawyer, and so I reached out to a friend who happened to work for an estate attorney, and asked if I could make an appointment. Prior to this, I thought my brother had the original copy of my mom’s will and he thought I had it. That same Friday, I tried calling the lawyer who wrote my mom’s will but no one answered. I figured they were in vacation for the holiday and would be back sometime next week. That Monday, I met with the attorney and he informed me that usually people do not keep the original copies of their own wills. What I had that I had taken from my mom’s safe (with her ok and instructions to do so) was only a copy. My lawyer informed me that it was possible to probate a copy, but it would be a little more difficult. He told me to keep trying to track down the original copy and let him know in a week or two wether or not I was able to find it. I tried calling the lawyer once again that Monday, but the number to his office just kept ringing and ringing. I wasn’t even sure that the lawyer was still in practice and so I hit the internet to search for some more info about him. I found a website under someone who had the exact same name as him but it wasn’t for a lawyer, it was for some capital finance company and so took a chance and I sent an email to the link on the site. As I kept digging, I found a PDF flyer that this person who had the same name as him, was speaking at an alumni event at a local college. They had his cellphone number listed on the flyer and so I called that. I got a generic answering machine and left a message, hoping that it was him.  
A few days later, a woman called me back and told me that she was the secretary to the person who had the same name as the lawyer. I explained my situation to her and she told me that she had to check a security deposit box and would call me back in a few days. It took almost two weeks, and me calling her a few times until finally, I got a call back that she had found the will and she’d over night it to me. I got it two days later and brought it down to my lawyer as soon as I could. 
At that point we weren’t 100% sure if my brother had actually filed for administration or not, but it didn’t really matter. A will automatically trumps any administration attempts. Ironically the same day I dropped the will of with my lawyer, I pulled into my driveway and a minute or so later, a process server pulled up in front of my house and served me with a citation that my brother had indeed filed for letters of administration….just as he said he would. My lawyer told me that he has never, in his 40+ years of law, seen ANYONE file for letters of administration that quickly after someone died…..EVER. He told me that the paperwork alone took at least 2 weeks to prepare…
Just to put this into perspective here, 

  •  My mom died on Sunday Nov. 20th. 
  • I spent the entire day preparing for her wake on, Monday the 21st. 
  •  Tuesday the 22nd Wed the 23rd was her wake services. 
  • Thursday the 25th was thanksgiving 
  • Friday the 26th was the only open business day of that week and I assume most attorneys were off. 
  • Sat the 27th and Sunday the 28th don’t count 
  • Monday the 29th thru Wednesday, December 1st were the only legitimate business days because……
  •  By Thursday December 3rd, my brother filed his petition for Letters of Administration. 

That left only 4 business days to do a “diligent Search” for the will. A diligent search would include calling lawyers and looking at public records down at the surrogate court building, amongst other things. 

My brother had no idea I had found or filed the will, but when I informed my lawyer that we had a text from my brother not only acknowledging the will, but giving specifics about who was named as executors, he had to pick his jaw up off the floor. He explained to us that when you filed for LOA (letters of Administration), you sign an affidavit that states that you did a diligent search for a will and have determined to the best of your knowledge that no will existed. Not only did my brother know a will existed, he put it in writing and sent it to us. It was like a gift from god. It really was. He perjured himself in a court of law and could’ve faced criminal charges because of it. 
Prior to my brother finding out that I had entered the will, and during the time he thought his false attempt at gaining control was a sure bet, “he” sent me this letter (and by he I mean Satan), that stated that he was taking care of everything until an estate account was established. He even went on to list specifics such as paying her “car note” (🤢), her oil bill, her homeowners and car insurances, the electric, etc. He tried to sound all professional with his words like “car note” and by saying things like, she will be assigned an FEIN number “in Leiu of a social security number”. It was written in a way to make it sound like what he was doing was very complicated and over my head. He gave me these stupid, useless facts and worded them so they sounded important and like he was keeping me “up to par” and in the loop. (The surrogate court wants to see that you are being amicable and communicative while they are determining whether or not they will appoint you as administrator). It was all a bullshit formality. He made sure to mention that our emails exchanges from then on our needed to be kept professional because they were going to be on record with the courts. 
My brother and Satan’s biggest problem here is that they both have severely underestimated me and my intelligence. My brother is an intelligent dude. I will give him that. He is book smart. He’s a fact memorizer and test taker but he can NEVER rival me on book smarts…..
This is the end of part one. Please see part 2 

Busted!! 

It had now been nearly month since my mom had passed away. For over a year now, my husband and I had been talking about leasing a new truck. My car payment was up in March 2017 and so my husband thought up this idea that he’d take my car and we’d lease a new truck for me to be used as a family car. He had scoped out the car, and so one night while I was out, I decided to go take it for a test drive. I had just left the dealership when I get a text from my mom’s neighbor telling me that Satan’s car was at my mom’s house and she was carrying out boxes and putting them in the back of her car. She told me she didn’t see my brother and so as soon as I got the text, I immediately started heading to the house. If it was justSatan  in the house when I got there, there was going to be a huge fucking problem. The last time I spoke to my brother, when I confronted him about the emails I saw on my mom’s phone, he flat out told me that I should NOT be taking anything from the house until the will was settled. Now here was his wife carrying boxes out of my mom’s house. That’s a little fucked up for them to say. 
I was just about on the expressway when I got the text, and so I gunned it past the next four exits, heading to my mom’s house. I had been trying to catch them there for months now, but I was always too late. I called my husband up and was on the phone with him until I pulled up to the house. Finally, I saw their truck in the driveway. My husband told me to pull behind Satan to block her in because if she was indeed alone there, she was trespassing and stealing. I parked my car parallel to the street, blocking the driveway. 
I sat there in my car for a few second and tried to scope out the situation, but I couldn’t really see much, so I got out of my car and slowly walked up to the house. As I got up to the house, I see my brother walking by the big picture window in the living room. I walked up to the front door and try to open it but the door was locked. I grabbed my keys and quietly unlocked the door. I walked in to see two rows of garbage bags, lined up, stretching across my mom’s living room. There had to be at least 16 bags in there, full of what, I didn’t know. 
I can hear the noise of packing tape being torn off the roll and so I followed the sound to this small home office that my dad had built years ago, when he owned his own business. He split up our garage and made the one half his office and the other a small garage area for storage. I walked up and leaned against the door frame with my hand on my hip and said, “Oh hey, what are you guys doing here?”. My brother answered my question with the very same question for me. I replied with, “oh I was just in the neighborhood and decided to stop in…….so what are you doing here?”. First he claimed to had been there to clean out the food from the fridge and stuff. I looked over to see Satan standing there, holding the baby and nervously pacing back and forth. I knew she was biting her tongue. Next to her were two piles of boxes stacked almost as high as her head. I then said to my brother, “Well what are you putting in these boxes then?” and at that moment he snapped back and told me that he was, “taking all of his old toys and stuff from the attic.”. Again I looked over at the boxes next to Satan and next to the two piles was my mom’s Christmas tree. When I finally moved out, to live with my husband, my mom had stopped putting up her big tree. Instead, she brought this 3-4ft tall fiber optic Christmas tree. My brother hated that thing. I knew he wasn’t the one who decided to take it and so I asked him, “oh, so is that Christmas tree one of your old toys?”. That’s when he really got pissed and told my to “mind my own fucking business” and that he can, take whatever the fuck he wants.”. I looked at him and told him that he was a money hungry, greedy piece of shit and I reminded him how he told me not to take anything from the house. Before he could even answer, Satan jumped in and says to him, “Don’t talk to her anymore, she’s crazy!”, and that was when I completely lost my shit! 
It had been three years in the making. Over the past three years I had only gotten into exactly ONE verbal confrontation with her, and that was when she showed up at my house, unexpectedly at 10:00 at night. The last few years,  but especially the last two months, came flying out of me in the most vile of ways. I yelled at her, “Shut your fucking mouth you dumb fucking twat! You dumb fucking twat, shut the fuck up!”. I think I called her every nasty name my imagination could conjour up. Finally, my brother told me to leave and I snapped back, “I’m not fucking going anywhere! I have just as much of a right to be here as you. I’ll sit right the fuck down and put my feet up on the coffee table.”. That’s when I heard Satan say, “I’m calling the cops.”. I walked back in the room and shouted, “Good! Go ahead and call the cops because you’re only going to make yourself look like a fucking idiot, because you are trespassing on the property!”. “As a matter of fact…”, I said, “I’ll call the cops too.”. I dialed 911, but I was bluffing, or so I thought, I wanted to see if she actually called them first but as I said it I accidentally hit the call button on my phone. A few seconds later I heard a voice and hung up. Then moments after that I get a call back from 911. I answer the phone and tell the officer what’s going on.
I walked through the house which had random items scattered all over the place. As I talked to the dispatcher I decided it would probably be best if I just waited outside until the cops came. I didn’t want to scare my brothers 18 month old kid anymore. The sad part is, the kid didn’t seem the least bit upset or scared with all the yelling. It must be a normal occurrence in their home, and she’s been desensitized to it. 
I was outside for all of about two minutes when suddenly I hear the front door flying open. I look up and out comes Satan with the baby in her arms and she walks down the porch steps and says to me, “you need to move your car.”. As I watch her walk by, I turned and told her, “I’m not moving shit! You called the cops and now you’re going to wait until they get here.”. She huffed and puffed her way to the car and put the baby in her car seat. My brother followed a few seconds later. 
As my brother walked by I asked him why he went to a lawyer and lied about my mom having a will. He didn’t answer and so I asked again. Finally he turned around and said, “because you stole the will!”. I told him, “no you fucking asshole, I never had the will. I had to get it from the lawyer and I have the letter and the envelope to prove it.”. That’s when he said one of the most fucked up accusations of all, that I forged a document. When the lawyer sent me both of my parents’ wills, he also sent a cover letter that said he sent the wills at my request, and he dated and signed the letter. My brother was accusing me of forging the letter! If I was going to take my chances forging the letter, why wouldn’t I forge the entire will then and leave all the money to myself?! I never heard such stupid bullshit in my life but I was really fucking angry. My brother has known me my whole life and knows what kind of person I am. I don’t know who made up this psychotic version of me but I have my guesses. 
He walked back into the house briefly and came back out. In that time I had pulled up a photo of the letter and I showed it to him and asked, “This? You think I forged this?”. You have to be fucking kidding me…. I have the fedex envelope at home, I can prove it to you.”. He looked up and dead into my eyes and said, “I don’t believe you!”. I yelled back, “you are so fucked up! What happened to you?”, and then I asked, “where’s your integrity?”. 
The whole time all of this is going on, their kid is sitting in the car in the complete darkness. They didn’t even bother to start the car. It was December 17th and it was freezing that night. There was about an inch of snow covering the ground. Despite that though, Satan was walking around in this sleeveless, shirt with ruffles on the shoulders, like it was the middle of July! I guess when you’re cold blooded the winter doesn’t bother you as much? 
At this point there was so much commotion, my mom’s neighbors slowly started coming outside to see what was going on. My brother  and Satan are in and out of the house carrying things back and forth. Him and Satan are trying to lock me out of the house and it got ugly. At one point, my brother and I got into a screaming match, right on the front porch. Satan is trying to lock me out the house, but I pulled the door back open. She sticks her head up and started yelling in my face, “I will have you arrested and locked away for a long time!”, like she’s the sheriffs daughter or something.  “I told her to shut the fuck up!”. More of her psychotic threats. My brother is about 2 inches away from my face with his fist clenched and his arm up and cocked back in the air like he’s going to hit me. Satan yells out, “don’t hit her! That’s what she came here for.” 
Let’s just let that soak in for a second. I think that last statement is a testament to how truly fucked up her mind is. Why on earth would I come there with the sole purpose of having my brother punch me in the face? My mind would never Think that way. Obviously since she is the one who said it, that’s the way her mind operates. I’m not into setting people up like that. Only a psychopath wound think of or do such a thing.
As my brother is holding up his fist I was screaming, “go ahead, hit me! Hit me!”. I knew he wouldn’t. Suddenly without any notice Satan come out of the door and fully launches herself between me and my brother. My instincts kicked in and as she came towards me, with the back of my arms, I shoved her. I am not exaggerating when I say the very second my arm came into contact with her body, she flew back a second and started screaming, “She hit me! I’m pressing charges!”. I swear over my son, she then took her hand and lifted up the ruffles on her shirt saying that I left marks while trying to scratch herself so there were visible marks! She did it several times! I watched her. I couldn’t even believe what I was seeing! If nothing else in this blog has convinced you that this girl is a full fledged psychopath, this should! 
Things escalated so quickly that I cannot remember every detail in its exact order, but I do remember at some point I asked them which one of them stole the pain killers. They both looked like two deers caught in the headlights. Neither of them denied it. They just told me I was crazy (deflection). Had they not taken them they would’ve probably said something like, “what pills?”, or “where were there pain killers?”. I also asked them the million dollar question, a question a have asked my brother SEVERAL times since my mom’s passing, “where were you when she was alive?”. Neither of them ever answer that question when it’s posed, and sometimes it’s the lack of an answer that tells you everything you need to know. 
Things cooled down a bit after the screaming match on the front porch. My brother and Satan went back into the house and I stayed outside. I stood there smoking a cigarette, pacing up and down my mom’s walkway. I could see my brother and Satan standing in my mom’s living room just a few feet away from the large window. Satan is frantically going through her phone, dialing numbers and putting the phone up to her ear. My brother was just standing there still, staring off into space with this look on his face like he was thinking, “this is not good!”. I really do wonder at times if my brother realizes how much he has let this girl fuck up his life. I also wonder if he’s even upset that my mom passed or that him and I no longer have a relationship. Sometimes I wonder if there is any part of the brother I once knew, in existence. 
My husband called as I was standing out there and I had explained everything that had happened up until that point. Suddenly I hear the door opening behind me and out comes Satan and a few seconds later, my brother. Satan walks right past me and gets into her car. I’m giving my husband the play by play, “oh here they come now, they’re getting in the car! She’s starting the car……where the fuck are they going? They called the cops!…….oh she is putting her seatbelt on…..what the fuck?…… she’s backing up!…….she better not hit my car!…….what is this crazy bitch doing?……she better not hit my car ……..she’s going into drive……where the fuck is she going?….she’s…..holy shit! She’s…..she fucking driving across my mom’s front lawn! HOLY SHIT!!!!!

Yes, this crazy bitch some how did some Austin Powers maneuver and managed to get her car which was parked, sandwiched behind behind my mom’s and mine, and she fucking drove across the lawn! She then peeled out into the street and drove out of sight. God blessed us with snow that night so I could capture a nice photo of the tire tracks going across the lawn. 

By this point in time all of the neighbors are outside and they’re all just standing there completely dumbfounded, and then one says, “What the fuck was that all about?”. I yell back across the street, “you got me!”. 
She wasn’t even gone a minute and finally the police officer arrives. He opens his window and asks, what’s going on. I turned around and pointed to the tire tracks on my mom’s front lawn and said, “well for starters, that’s what’s going on.”. Some of the neighbors crept over and listened in as I explained the situation to the cop. As I’m talking, I suddenly hear what sounds like a car skidding out. I look down to the end of the block and see Satan stopped on the middle of the road that crosses over my mom’s street. She throws the car in reverse and turns down the block with her tires screeching the whole way. She pulls over and her and my brother come out of the car all calm and collected like nothing has happened and they start explaining their side of the story, of course making themselves seem like the innocent victims. 
The cop was kind of an asshole and didn’t seem like he even wanted to be bothered with this situation. Satan was doing all of the talking, explaining how she talked to the “executors”, (aunt Bea and Aunt Debbie) and they said that they could take whatever the fuck the wanted, but all they were taking was my brother’s old Star Wars figures from the attic. I explained to the cop how they told me not to remove any items from the house and then they are there doing exactly that. I also explained how no executors had been appointed yet and so no one should be telling them to take anything. The cops then asks me if I really care that my brother is taking his stuff from the house and I explained to him that he was taking more stuff than what was his and that I couldn’t see what was in the boxes. The cop asks e if I care that he’s taking “his” stuff. I said no, but I argued back that if we go that route, I can say that anything in the house is “my stuff” and that I can take it. Technically ifits in her house it’s her property. I also told him that his wife shouldn’t be in there taking anything either because it’s not her mother’s house. I think he kind of understood at that point and so he told us we should all just lock up the house and leave. My brother asked if he could go back in the house to clean up and bring the garbage bags out and so the cop said ok, but only him. I stood out there and explained to the cop that I was sorry for being so agitated and hostile. I explained  that they were never around when my mom was alive, but that they now had no problem going through all of her stuff. Satan then walked back over and starts going on again about how I left marks on her. She was walking over to the car with her arm out, trying to show the cop the invisible marks on her arms. I looked down and told her they were freckles and that she needed to look in a mirror. She started going on about how she was going to go down to the precinct and press charges on me. She must be a professional at falsely accusing people of shit since she knew that you must go down to the precinct to do so. The cop turned to her and said, “That shit ain’t gonna fly here honey, just go sit in your car and wait.”. She walks away mumbling some shit about me being crazy and needing to be medicated and so I asked her, “oh you mean like the medication you stole from my mom?”. She finally turned around and threw her hands up and said, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”. That’s another one of her favorite lines when she’s confront by something that’s irrefutable. 
Finally I realized the cop was going to be no help and so I asked him if I could just leave. I pulled down the block into the convenience store parking lot and waited. I was going to go in the house after they left to see what they took. That’s when I noticed another set of headlights coming down the block and stopping in front of my mom’s house. After a minute, I realized that it was my husband and so I pulled down the block again and got out. My husband later told me that as soon he got out of the car, Satan came running up to him with her arm out yelling, “look what your wife did to me!”. She was telling my husband that she was going to press charges and my husband said to her, “Satan, please stop. You want to go press charges, go ahead because my wife can g press charges because you are trespassing on the property.”. My brother jumped in to remind my husband that she was his wife, (which he also said to me when I pointed out the same thing) but the cop interjected by saying, “you should listen to your brother in law, (my husband) he’s right.”. My husband told them that He and Satan should step aside and let me brother and I handle things, but Satan wouldn’t allow it. He told them how ridiculous this whole thing was And a conversation started about the will and how my brother thought I had it and we thought he had it. My brother started explaining how they tried to contact the lawyer who drafted the will, but before he could finish, Satan jumped in and said, “don’t tell him anything.”. With that, she grabbed my brother’s arm and they got in the car and they left. That was the last time I saw or spoke with my brother.