Paranoia got the most of me….

I fixed my mother’s iPad for her. It took a while, but I was able to do it without losing any data. I hate that this happened, I really do, but at this point in time my husband and I really started to question my mom’s role and if maybe she was in on things with my brother and Satan. Was she just an innocent monkey in the middle or was she playing both sides? Looking back, I think I little of the latter was going on, I don’t think she did it with ill intentions towards me. I even wondered if they had managed to get into her head with their lies. I remembered that every time a text went off on her phone, it would go of in her iPad too. Maybe it was wrong of me but I decided to look in her texts. Maybe there was something in there that would explain what was going on, and more importantly, why?
I went to my brother’s  and her texts first. Apparently the day that the lawyer came she had accidentally text my brother instead of me. My mom told him about the lawyer previous to this day, but she didn’t tell him when or why he was coming. She wrote the same thing to him that she did to me, that “they” said she should see him alone. That was when my brother responded, “Which lawyer? The one from the hospital or the one Janet suggested.” Janet? Who the fuck was Janet but more so, why is she suggesting lawyer’s for my mom and also, why does he know about it and I don’t ? 
I had no idea who Janet was and it haunted me for a while. I didn’t want to ask my mom so I was trying to figure it out on my own. Then suddenly it hit me! I remember when my mom told me that Satan said they (coincidentally) used the same accountant, my mom said the accountant’s name was Janet! I’m still trying to piece this all together though.  My told me that Satan said she had gotten some advice from someone,that she needed to tell Janet. I asked my mom what type of advice she got,and my mom played it off like she didn’t remember. Now this same lady is suggesting lawyer’s for my mom to see? There had to be a discussion about my mom’s will between my brother,  Satan and her. I personally think they wanted to convince my mom they are more “responsible” than me. They were afraid my mom would make me the executor,  and that was not what they wanted becausethey wanted to have all the control. They may have even just wanted to get my aunts off the will, so they can have control. Satan had fully brainwashed  Aunt Bea, but I think she was a little iffy about Aunt Debbie because Aunt Debbie wasn’t particularly fond of her,  and Satan didn’t know if she could control her as much as Aunt Bea. 
I do not believe Satan used the same Tax lady as my mom. I think she pretended to use the same accountant as her because she wanted to talk to the accountant  to see how much money my mom was worth and what she owed in taxes. Satan supposedly went to school for accounting, (or so she says)  and so I’m surprised she uses a tax person at all. Still I had to wonder how Satan found out who my mom used. Then a few days later, I went to my mom’s house to do something and sure enough right on the fridge was a magnetic business card for Janet Jones, CPA. 
That Monday Nov. 15th my mom was able to sit in the chair for over four hours. It was a huge accomplishment. The question now was, would she be able to do it without the heavy dose of painkillers she was on, because she wasn’t going to be able to have that when she left the hospital. I had a meeting set up for Thursday with the social worker to see if they were still even talking about releasing her. The meeting was supposed to take place either Monday or Tuesday but the social worker had a scheduling conflict and so she postponed it until Thursday. Unfortunately my brother had to be included in on this one and so since she was aware of all the conflict between us, I asked if she could coordinate with him. 
Tuesday rolled around and I started to notice a change in my mom’s overall affect. They had started her on the antidepressant that day but I didn’t think it would affect her that quickly. Usually they take time to build up in your system.  She just seemed flat. I brought my son that day and her reactions to him just weren’t like they normally were. In fact, she seemed like she didn’t even care that he was there at all. This was VERY abnormal. In the last three years the only time I really saw my mom smile was when he was around. She was always so down about my brother and I not speaking, but when she saw my son it was like she forgot everything else and he was all that mattered in that moment. She’d hug him and kiss him all over and ask, “why do I love this boy so, so much?”; but she’d say it in this funny voice, and she just held him and squeezed him. Him and her would more often than not, go off into their own little world when they were together, and it was a world where I didn’t exist.  I love to watch them play, though. When I saw her reactions, or lackthereof,  with my son, I became worried. 
She also seemed a little confused and stuff and was saying weird things and talking about having to do things with my dad, but my dad has been deceased for ten years.  I was worried, and so Tuesday night I went home and started looking online to see what the effects were of the antidepressant she was taking and thought maybe she was experiencing some negative  side effects of that. The best way to describe the way she was, was apathetic. She just had no reactions to anything. She wasn’t even looking at me when I was talking to her. I remember those few days feeling like she was even annoyed by my presence,  but I stayed around. I thought maybe she was mad because maybe my brother told her about the fight we had the night my husband dropped off the camera. I had. I idea what was making her like that because if I asked she would tell me she was fine. 
 I went back up that night to give her, her iPad, and I told her I didn’t want to talk about it but I wanted her to know that my husband replaced the camera. It was really bothering me and so Tuesday night when I left, I was home thinking about all of this stuff and how she seemed mad or annoyed with me that night I texted her this, “I have to tell you. I feel like something is going on. Like you’re not telling me something. Is there something you need to tell me? I know there’s something going on that I don’t know about. This whole thing with [my brother] and his wife and the camera is completely not making sense to me. Why they were putting cameras in the house??. I just don’t get it.”. Then I asked, “who’s Janet?” My mom confirmed it was her tax lady. It bothered me that she didn’t answer anything else except that and so I sent her this, “Ok. I’ve made you a priority in my life for the past ten years since daddy has been gone and especially in the last couple of years, months and weeks. I have sacrificed my time with my son and my husband to be there for you. I just want to know what’s going on. That’s all. I just know something is not being said.”. I wanted her know that I was always there with her and that she can tell me whatever it was. My mom and I had always been honest and open with one another and I felt like she was holding back. I didn’t want all the bullshit they were doing to put a strain on our relationship.  I just wanted to know what they were up to. What was with all the sneaking around, lying and shady business? Was there something she was afraid to tell me because she thought they might get mad and threaten her with not seeing her granddaughter as they have done in the past? I needed to know what the reasoning was for putting that camera in the house. I also wanted to know if they were pressuring to do things she wasn’t comfortable with. 
Satan has this thing she does where she just kind of forces herself or things on you. Perfect example. The day after their 1 1/2 year old daughters first birthday party (that took place nearly 6 months after her actual birthday) that took place on my mom’s actual birthday, they came over to my moms house while I was there. My brother told me that they got a cleaning lady for my mom. I thought that meant they were going to pay for her house to get cleaned. I come to find out later that they weren’t paying for it. The way it was presented to me it seemed as if they were. I know my mom and while she spent money on stupid shit sometimes, she was cheap when it came to things like that and I was surprised she was taking on a bill that expensive. My mom the told me that Satan kind of forced it on her but she wanted it anyway, so it was ok. It ended up being the same lady that cleaned their house, and so Satan was the one to set up the appointment. My mom had to cancel a few times and Satan would be the one to call and coordinate that. She would just do things without you giving a real solid answer or without giving you time to think. As soon as you said something was a good idea, she was on the phone coordinating it for you. 

My mom replied to my text, ...”[my nickname] if you think I would do anything against you you’re out out of you’re miimh. (She meant mind)”. I was ok with that answer. Even through a text. I don’t think my mom was fully aware of what they were doing at that time. I think she was in denial about everything, her cancer, her kidney failure, and her son and how much he had changed and disappointed her.

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