Onions make you cry. Narcissists make you cry even more. I remember in my college acting class my professor told me about “peeling the onion”. The actor needs to peel away each layer to reveal another. The same thing happens with a narcissist. This is why narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths alike must rush all their relationships. They must anchor you down before the mask slips.
Slowly but surely, as an outsider looking into an unhealthy, rushed relationship of a loved one and a narcisssit, you will notice the layers slowly peeling away. You can also use that metaphor for the victims because slowly but surely their freedom, independence and autonomy is being peeled away. As an outsider looking in, it’s like watching a car wreck in slow motion.
A little less than a year prior to meeting Satan (the Narcissist) my brother had gotten out of a 6 year long relationship. He was still vulnerable. He was still not 100% over what happened to him. His ex was cheating on him, with her boss, for the last two years of their relationship. He was still mourning the loss. He was still rebuilding himself. One of the ways in which he did so was by refurnishing the apartment he shared with her. She had moved out and he agreed to keep paying the lease. He purged. He redecorated their once feminine apartment and made it look like a bonafide bachelor pad. His ex had left almost everything behind. I guess her shame wouldn’t allow her to ask for things back. She packed her shit up in less than a day and was gone. She only took her personal belongings like clothing, jewelry and toiletries and left all furniture and housewares behind.
My brother was nervous about cancelling his lease. He was hardly making the rent by himself. He was scared the leasing company was going to penalize him for breaking the lease early. Thankfully, Satan had a solution. She demanded that he contact his ex and tell her to pay the fees for the early cancellation of the lease. She made my brother call her and rightfully so, she told him there was no way in hell she was going to pay. As much as I disliked his ex at the time for what she did to him, human to human, I had to let my brother know that it wasn’t fair to make her responsible for his cancellation fees. All in all, he had agreed to finish out the lease. Legally I don’t know if his verbal agreement was binding but morally he agreed to finish it out.
My brother was really nervous about having to come up with this extra money that he didn’t have. He also was a bit upset about losing his security fee but he told Satan he was going to cancel his lease anyway. Convieniently in the middle of him making this decision, he called me one day and told me he got laid off from his job. I asked him how many other people were laid off and his answer troubled me, “no one….. just me.”. He had to fill out his papers for unemployment benefits and I told him he needed to call his job and ask them whether he was laid off or fired. Any discrepancy in the paperwork could hold up his money. If he wrote he was “laid off” and his former employer said he was “fired”, it would cause him a huge problem and possibly prevent him from even getting his benefits. I told him to reach out to his manager and ask. It couldn’t hurt. Sure enough his manager emailed him back and told him the reason he was “fired” was because his excessive lateness to work in the recent months. He was warned about it in the weeks prior to his departure but he continuted to be late. My brother hadn’t been fired from a job since he was 16. Now at 36 years old, he suddenly cannot get himself to work on time? He wasn’t just 10-15 minutes late. He was showing up a half hour-45 minutes late everyday.
There is NO DOUBT in my mind that Satan was behind this. I found the timing of his job loss to be waaaaaaaay too coincidental. Here he was, trying to decide if he was going to cancel his lease and move in to her house and he’s worried about money and fees and stuff. Satan called the leasing office at his complex and worked out a deal. So long as they can get the apartment rented within a short amount of time, my brother wouldn’t have to pay any penalties. If there was any doubts on my brother’s behalf about moving in to her home, she just erased them. Without a job he wouldn’t be able to keep his apartment anyway so it’s either move back home with mom, or sell your soul to the devil. He chose the devil.
The one thing Satan has to back her up is money. It seems as if she has an endless supply. She sells insurance and while I think she probably makes a decent salary, I also believe she has other sources. One being her ex-husband. He’s an executive for a company that owns a popular ice cream parlor chain. He probably makes well into the six figure range. Well she’s no dummy. She made sure to get pregnant with his kid. That’s his one and only kid. He never remarried. Never had more kids. I assume it’s because Satan completely tarnished his view of women. He’s probably too traumatized to date again. Anyway, I assume she gets a good 17% of his salary and doesn’t have to reach into her own pocket EVER to care for their daughter.
My brother moved in with Satan in late June of 2013, 3 months after meeting her. Satan told him he didn’t need to bring ANYTHING to her house. She had it all. I sat back and watch him sell off all the new furniture we had just picked out in the months and weeks prior. He came to my house one day with a box of kitchenware. My brother loves to cook. Over the years he acquired lots of kitchen gadgets. He divided them up between me and my mom and whatever we didn’t need, he threw in the garbage. Everything was either sold or dumped.
EVERYTHING.I went to his house to help him pack up the rest of what was left. He was acting really strange that day. It was like he was in a frenzy to get rid of his stuff. He filled up the dumpster with furniture and housewares and he threw away so much stuff the the superintendent of his apartment complex yelled at him for taking up too much of the dumpster. He was throwing away some good stuff. It was strange. He didn’t want to take the time to bother and see if anyone else could use it or if he could donate it to a Salvation Army, he just wanted it gone. I was insisting he keep some of it and he told me, “Satan doesn’t want me bringing any extra stuff there.” I bagged up some stuff that I knew was important to him and brought it over to my mom’s house to put in her attic. When all was said and done my brother got rid of everything he worked so hard for, for the last 6-7 years. All he brought to her house was his clothing and toiletries. She let him bring over his new dresser that he had just purchased and she put it in an extra bedroom, so he can store his clothing. The only other housewares she allowed was his bed in which she gave to her pre-teen daughter. That one still disturbs me. He used to sleep with his ex on that bed. Now her daughter is sleeping in it? That’s just weird.
After he was all moved in she started to slowly but surely erase any shred of his independence, starting with his phone. She told him he was over paying for it and that she got a better deal with her service provider and so he cancelled his phone contract and signed onto hers. The next thing to go was his car. She told him his transmission was going, because you know, Satan is a mechanic (along with every other profession in the world). His car wasn’t even 5 years old. The transmission was FINE.
When all was said and done, Satan now owned my brother. He was jobless, carless, furnitureless, phoneless, identityless. He couldn’t leave her, even if he wanted to, he would have to start completely over. He would have to rebuild his entire life. It would be him, his clothes and toiletries; and a brand new dresser. THAT’S IT.
To be continuted in my next post.