While I was able to see my brother’s email, it wasn’t helping me much because he was using a new email address. As I was going through all the emails between him and his wife I saw an email in there where she had made up a username and password for some health account they were going to share. That was when I lightbulb went off and on a whim, I decided to try that password with the new email address. Waiting for the next page to load after hitting the submit button was more suspenseful than an Alfred Hitchcock movie. I clenched my jaw and fists waiting while the loading bar slightly went across the screen. Seconds later, I was in!
I know how crazy this all sounds and what’s more crazy is that I can’t explain how any of this came to me except for that somewhere up there in the clouds, someone was helping me. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s my mom and dad. Of the two of them, I think it was my dad even more. I often wonder what how he’d feel if he was alive during all of this. I think things would’ve been quite different. My dad always had it out for my brother. When I was younger I never understood why my dad was so hard on my brother, but now I can see why. I’ve come to realize that in the last few years that my dad’s sometimes harsh opinions about people were right. I used to get mad at my dad when he made negative comments about my brother and certain people in my family. At times I felt like he was too judgmental but now I see why that was because everything he said, has been nothing but the truth. He knew exactly who in my family was real and who was full of shit.
Anyway, back to the email. There wasn’t much in way of email in the account because it was created shortly before we signed our papers to be executors. What I was able to see though was that it was in fact my brother and his wife who was operating the account. She would write stuff to me, email herself from the account from her regular email and then edit it and send it to me. It was 100% proof that she was the sole operator of the account, still obviously I couldn’t use it as proof. In a sense it only made things more frustrating for me and I needed a way to prove it was her outside of hacking into their account and so I did what any detective would do….I went to the internet.
The only way to see someone’s IP address via an email was to look at the email header. In the header it gives you certain info but most email providers like gmail, block the users private IP address, and since my brother used outlook, his IP was also blocked. I consider myself somewhat computer savvy but reading these email headers was definitely a little above my skill level and so I decided to post the header on a message board and ask if anyone saw anything else that could identify the person who was sending the emails. Within minutes I got a reply from someone saying that they didn’t see any identifying info however there were several other ways to get the information that I’m looking for. One of those ways was by using an email tracker. This person, whomever he or she was, instantly became my knight in shining….internet font.
This is how it works, you sign up in their site where they have an interface in which you can send emails through. When you send an email through their interface, there is a small, invisible image embedded in the body of the email. That image somehow records data from the recipient…don’t ask me how, it just does! Every time someone opens up your email it will record information such as the device the person is using (i.e.; iPhone, iPad, computer), what browser or what email service they’re using, (i.e.; gmail, internet explorer, Mozilla Firefox) and most importantly what internet service they’re connected to, (i.e.; time warner, Verizon, Sprint). It also gives a host of other information as well, such as how long the person read your email (or had it opened for), the time it was opened and it even tells you the weather….just in case you were wondering. Each time an email is opened, you are emailed a report from the site with all the aforementioned information. If the email is forwarded you will get a report with the new recipient’s info.
Now in the days prior to this, I decided to send my emails to the email address I knew my brother to have for the last few years. I could see that my brother read the email, but I got a response back from the new email address where “he” told me that, his old address was no longer active (strange though because “he” got my email and replied to it, hmmmmm 🤔 ) and from then on out, any emails I sent to the old account, we’re going to be forwarded to the new account. From then on, every email I sent, I copied it to both accounts.
It was the day before Labor Day weekend when I signed up on the site called whoreadme.com and sent my very first email through the tracker and within minutes, I got my very first report from an email I sent to his “new” account. Sure enough I open the report and what does it say? Well it told me that the person who had opened my email was connected to Liberty Mutual’s servers. Well that’s funny, my brother doesn’t work at Liberty Mutual….but his wife does! A few seconds later I got a report from the email I sent to his old account and that report also told me that someone who was connected to Liberty Mutual’s servers. I didn’t need the proof to know his wife was the one writing the emails but now I at least had something that showed her involvement. Throughout that day I continued to email back and forth and through the next few weeks I used the service and every report I got back, was from her, at Liberty Mutual and over those weeks I started to realize that my brother wasn’t even reading my emails AT ALL. Now keep in mind, I can see ALL of their email activity because I had the passwords to both accounts. My brother is a software developer and so I could see over Labor Day weekend, he somehow figured out a way to send any of my emails, and ONLY my emails, directly to his deleted folder in his regular email account. They were also being forwarded to the “new” account. So every time I sent an email i would go into his account and see it sitting in the deleted folder, unread.
I just want to put into perspective how completely fucked up this all is, for anyone who hasn’t read my entire blog. My mother and I had absolutely NO relationship with his wife. Prior to my mom’s death on November 20th 2016, she had only been in our lives since April, 2013, when we met her for the very first time. By the time they were engaged in October 2013, we had only met her a handful of times and of those times, we probably only sat down and really talked to her on a one on one basis, twice. I had a fight with my brother in early November, 2013 and later that same month, my mom had a huge blowout with them (which can be heard here). I did not speak to my brother from then on. My mom continued to fight with them on a somewhat regular basis, until after their daughter was born in April 2015. That May my mom finally confronted his wife and they had a blowout over the phone (which could be heard here). We found out my mom had cancer in November of 2015. At that point in time my mom had just started to get her relationship back on track with my brother. The day after Christmas 2015 was the first time my mom had physically seen my brother in years and exchanged gifts for a holiday. I took my mom to the emergency room that night. She was at their house when I called her after speaking with her doctor and told her that she needed to go to the ER. They let her get in her car and drive to my house that night. They didn’t even come to the ER with us, nor did they call to check in to see how she was the next day. My mom had to call my brother and inform them. They saw her sporadically from then on out and basically had zero involvement in caring for her while she was sick. She had major surgery in February and was in the hospital for about a week and they only came to visit twice. It wasn’t until late February, 2016 that I tried for the last time to reconcile with my brother and for the first time since 2013, we all met up at my mom’s house and hung out together. They didn’t start getting “involved” with her care until August of 2016, and if you go back and read my older posts, you’ll see why I say, “involved” with quotation marks. The point is, these people wanted NOTHING to do with her until it was pretty clear that she was dying. They had no problem whatsoever with me doing EVERYTHING prior to her death. His wife did not give a flying FUCK about my mom and it was blatantly clear and it wasn’t until my mom was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive form of untreatable cancer that she even started to converse with my mom.
If you look at my mom’s phone it speaks volumes to the nature of their “relationship”. Firstly, my mom didn’t even have his wife’s name programmed into her phone. In her text messages, I can only identify its her by her phone number. My mom saved every text between them and you can actually see that from the time they got married, all their texts were arguments. There’s then a huge gap of time from 2014 on where there’s no texts and then suddenly in 2016 you see all these texts from my brother’s wife, like they were best friends. There’s no real conversations though. His wife sent pictures of the baby and my mom would reply, “how cute”. There was nothing of any substance between them.
The point is here, is that my mom and her didn’t have a relationship. My mom made it abundantly clear to everyone she knew that she didn’t want my brother’s wife involved in her affairs. When I say everyone knew this, I mean EVERYONE….including my brother and so for him to just completely disregard what my mom wanted, I cannot have any respect for him. The fact that he just completely bowed out of the settling of my mother’s estate and let his wife handle it, goes to show how sick this relationship really is.
To be continued…..