I don’t think my heart ever spent so much time pounding so fast, for such an extended period of time in my life. It felt as if it was constantly in 5th gear. Satan’s antics were really starting to stress me out. Normal me wanted to get in my car, drive to her house, ring her doorbell, and cold cock her right in her big, round pumpkin face, with a hit so hard it would knock her out cold, but executor me didn’t want to do anything to fuck up what I had fought so hard for. A second alternative was a profanity laced email telling her exactly where she can shove her bullshit email, and offering assistance in doing so, but I couldn’t do that either. I am not going to lie. I dream of the day I run into her, alone somewhere, where I don’t have my kid and she doesn’t have hers because I’d give her a the blanket party of a lifetime. It’s probably a good thing she always has to have my brother on her leash with her at all times. There’s probably a reason she never goes anywhere alone. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there that this succubus, waste of human flesh and bones, has tortured.
Instead of going crazy though, I tried to keep my cool and so I decided to respond to her email calmly. One of the main things I didn’t want her thinking was that any of the stupid shit she was doing, was effecting me. I don’t know if experts in the field would agree with this, but the last thing you want to do is show a narcissist your emotions. They do not care about them and all they will do is use them against you or to their advantage. I dealt with Satan by being sarcastic and making everything she said a joke. On Sunday, Sept. 3rd I responded to Satan’s email.
Um yeah my mom actually gave [my brother] and [my brother’s ex-fiancé] TV away years ago. You wouldn’t know cuz you couldn’t come to her house for the last few years. You can take the tv in the den, it’s a better TV anyway. The one in her room was hers. She purchased it when she re-did her bedroom. I can get a hold of the [store’s] receipt for it if you’d like. As for not taking things without giving you a “chance to object,” it works both ways. You took a lot of stuff without giving me a chance to object. Like those feminine Apple Watch straps, that were in the dish in front her her TV, the vase in her bathroom and the rain chain and bronze pots that were hanging off the front of the porch, amongst other things, all odd choices for a man to take. I didn’t know you were into flowers and home decor. Now I know that a gift card to home goods will be a good Christmas gift for you this year. You should’ve told me you wanted it like you told me you wanted that wagon.
Have a wonderful weekend! Xoxox
It was the truth. I have said it before and I will say it again. Narcissists think they are smarter than everyone. She somehow thought that when they went into my mom’s house that day, and she began shopping around, I wasn’t going to know what they took. Besides the fact that I lived there for 28 years of my life and knew the house inside and out, I spent a lot of time there during the last few years of my mom’s life while my brother and Satan were not speaking to her. I helped my mom decorate and clean. We went shopping together. My mom and I would always show each other new stuff we got. She has no concept of the kind of relationship me and my mom had because she kept my brother and herself isolated from her for pretty much their entire 3 year long relationship. On top of that, I don’t think Satan has that kind of relationship with her mom or even her own daughter for that matter, because narcissists don’t know how to form deep and meaningful relationships. People, even their own flesh and blood are treated like objects, or extensions of themselves and they all serve a specific purpose. They all feed the narcissistic supply in some way.
Another relationship of mine that she doesn’t seem to understand is the one between me and my brother. Prior to her evil ass entering the picture, my brother and I had a good relationship. In fact it was the best it had been in years, or at least I thought it was. One person I’d love to talk to is Satan’s sister who she hasn’t spoken to in over a decade, (although I suspect her sister has her own set of problems, similar to Satan’s). I don’t know what their relationship was like or why they don’t talk (we’ve been told several different reasons). Whatever it was like, I can guarantee it was not anything like the relationship I had with my brother, and again, that’s where she failed.
Anyway, as I was saying, I knew what my mom had and what was missing after the day they cut the lock off the shed and left the mess at my mom’s house. I had noticed that all the items that were taken from the house were thing that my brother would NEVER go after. My brother would never want flower pots or vases, a small accent table, and what was he going to do with my mom’s feminine looking Apple Watch straps? In fact, I noticed that Satan seemed to purposely take things that I had purchased for my mom or things that my brother would know I would want. There is no question she eyes up specific items for a reason. I bought my mom the Apple Watch straps that Christmas. She took the flower pots and rainchain that I had purchased for her, amongst other things. Left behind were things like The living room TV, DVD players, and oddly enough all of my dad’s tools and his toolbox, all things you would think a man would want.
All Satan wanted to do was torture me and it was becoming clear. A perfect example is the game she kept playing with me about my mom’s “additional life insurance policy”. I had emailed her the day prior asking (for the fifth time) for the information about it, and as you can see, she kept putting me off by telling me she “didn’t have it”, “she wasn’t home”, she’d “get it to me in a timely manner”, etc. I finally emailed her in the morning on Sept 2, before I went to get my grandmother, and here’s what finally ended up happening. I wrote:
Surely you have to havebwen [sic] to your house at some point this week. I need the name and number for my mom’s life insurance. Don’t know why you’re being so secretive and evasive with it. Kind of strange.
Almost an hour later at 12:24pm along with the other bullshit email she sent me, she also sent this.
I was contacted by the company as a beneficiary. They have not yet informed me that you are a beneficiary. I would have assumed if you are a beneficiary, they would have contacted you directly. I am in the process of obtaining more information and will provide it, if it pertains to you.
I’ve left a stack of signed checks to pay the creditors. Each check is in an addressed envelope. Please sign the check
This sadistic, twisted fuck wanted me to think that my mom had some secret life insurance policy that my brother was the only beneficiary of. First off, that NEVER would’ve happened! Everyone I showed this email to, that knew my mom said the same thing, “your mom would NEVER do that.”. Satan just wanted to get me riled up that day. She wanted to ruin my day with my grandmother, but more importantly she wanted to toy with me and send me on a wild goose chase looking for some life insurance policy that never even existed. To this day I don’t know what the truth was and to be honest I don’t even care anymore. Like many things with Satan I have learned not to try to rationalize them. She is sick, twisted and evil. I will never understand anyone who goes out of their way to fuck with other people’s minds at times when they are at their most vulnerable, like while they’re grieving the loss of their mother. The best I can come up with is that she is just a hateful, miserable person who isn’t happy with herself and who she is, so she has to try to suck the joy out of anyone who isn’t like her. That is why narcissist are often referred to as emotional vampires.
She didn’t reply to my email about the TV until the morning of September 3rd, at 9:36 am. (Side note I noticed that she was very regimented and sent her emails at the same times of day, all of the time. Often times they came early in the morning between the hours of 8:00 and 9:30. I’m glad to know I was the first thing she thought of when she woke up everyday). Here’s what she said: (take note of the parts I’ve underlined)
I don’t know why you keep addressing emails to me as if you’re talking to someone else. It makes you sound unstable.
And you’re correct. It does go both ways. During our phone conversation of 8/21 and on my follow up email of 8/22, I said that I wouldn’t remove items from the house without notifying you first. You wrote me on 8/24 stating that you had already started removing items and you would provide me with a list. I have yet to receive a list.
I took things from mom’s house to remember mom by. Some of the things, I gave to her as gifts. Some of the things, I will use to decorate my house and yard. Some of the things, I will give to [my brother’s daughter]. Attached is a complete list of items that I’ve taken. Provide me with yours, including items that you’ve taken prior to being named as executor.
Also, as you might have noticed, I returned the home videos as I’ve made copies of them. Return the photo albums to the house immediately so that I have the opportunity to copy them.
I am officially notifying you that I do not authorize you to remove anymore items from the house without my approval. I will do the same. The only things that I am authorizing to be removed from the house, is the bed and fan for [my grandmother], if she can use them.
I am 100% prepared to go back to court, if necessary. It will not cost me any more money to do so.
And here we go…..
Things took a turn for the worst this weekend. The more I made light of the things she was saying, the more angry she got. Another thing she didn’t realize is that I had an attorney and I utilized him. Before I did anything I would always consult with him or someone in his office. My attorney told me I could take whatever I wanted from the house seeing that my brother stated in his first emails and in our phone call that he didn’t want much from the house. That I could do whatever I wanted with the stuff in the house, etc. Even if I were to give her a list, I wasn’t going to do so until I was 100% done going through the house. At this point in time i wasn’t even 1/10th of the way done going through things.
She just doesn’t realize what an asshole she sounded like. Nothing that they took were gifts bought by him! My brother was the gift card king! I can’t even remember the last time he bought my mom an actual gift. That coupled with the fact that my brother wasn’t around for any birthdays or holidays since he and Satan met, I knew none of the things they took were “gifts from him”.
As far as the photo albums went….. my mom was big time into photography. She was thatAunt at the family parties who always had the camera in her hand, and was making everyone pose for pics. She is the reason I love taking pictures so much too. My mom used to take her camera everywhere with us when we were kids. She had a whole closet in a spare bedroom that was almost entirely dedicated to photos. I filled up 3 of the xtra large sized Rubbermaid storage bins with all the photo albums, plus more. Yes, my brother was entitled to some of those as well, but I noticed when I went to take them, that some of the albums I had left out from when I was gathering photos for her wake, were missing, meaning he had already helped himself to some. Also, I’m sorry, but I have heard his wife with my own ears threatening to destroy his stuff. There was absolutely no way in HELL that I was going to leave the only things that I had left of my family, go anywhere that, that demon seed would have access or be in control of them. No fucking way in hell! Over my dead body. NO! My brother knows they are safe with me. One day when he leaves her, maybe he can come here and take some. Until then I’m sorry, but I’m protecting my family’s legacy. I know right now my brother is brainwashed and indoctrinated and maybe one day when he comes out of the fog he will understand why I was so adamant about keeping the family photos.
Before I move on, one last thing I have to mention is the very first sentence of her email where she says that she doesn’t know why I keep addressing her as if I’m speaking to someone else and how it makes me sound, “unstable”. This is yet another tactic used by narcissists and it’s called gaslighting. She knows damn well why I am addressed those emails as if I’m speaking to someone else. I have already said it several times that I don’t think I’m speaking to my brother, that I’m not sure who I’m talking to, and I even told my brother over the phone that, I’m not really sure it’s him I’m speaking to. She knows exactly why I’m doing it, but once again, she is trying to create this narrative. I noticed she did this a lot. It’s almost as if she thought there was a third party (the courts) that were going to read all of these emails, and so she wanted to create this narrative that I was incompetent and unstable. If you watch this video on YouTube it explains how narcissist gaslight , very well.
The last thing I want to point out is the last paragraph where she tells me she’s “fully prepared to take me to court”. Again, this was the second or third time I had received the court threat. Since I had previously told her that doing so was going to cost both of us a lot of money she made sure to let me know it wouldn’t cost her anything. The truth is, it would’ve. Trust me, I know because at this point in time I had gone to my attorneys several times about these emails and the way I was being spoken to, and my attorneys kept telling me that if we went to the courts, a) it would cost me money to enter a petition and pay them to litigate the matter or b) since my brother and I were not the original executors, and the estate had been sitting stagnant long enough, that there was a chance that the judge would see two grown adults, who clearly couldn’t get along, and assign a public administrator to take over and get the estate settled. A public administrator is essentially a lawyer who would take over and it could cost us around 10% of the estate. As fed up as I was with them at that point, they were not worth tens of thousands of dollars of my inheritance. Satan thought, like most idiots in her life probably do, that I’d give in…..but I knew all her threats were just empty threats.
Along with that email, Satan attached what she referred to as a “completed inventory list”. Take note of the word COMPLETED because it will become relevant in future posts.
Also, take notice of the items on the list. Firstly it’s all bullshit items that are essentially worthless. There’s no value in half used candles, incense, and pez dispensers. I have to laugh because she wrote “Star Trek”. My mom didn’t have any Star Trek stuff. She had a lot of Star WARS stuff, because my brother is a total Star Wars geek and collected Star Wars memorabilia since he was a kid. Had my brother actually wrote this list, he would’ve know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I’m also a little creeped out that she took 2 pairs of binoculars. God only knows who she plans on watching with those. I’m not sure what creeped me out more though, the fact that she took binoculars or the fact that she admitted to taking my mom’s SOCKS! I’m not sure what “yoga socks” are exactly, but either way why, why on God’s green earth would you want someone else’s socks? Especially socks from someone that you know did not like you?
One thing that really caught my attention about this list is that 90% of it is stuff I know for a 100% FACT, my brother would NEVER, EVER BE INTERESTED IN! In fact, why would ANY man want, a “sister’s mug”, four serving plates, yoga socks, 2 boxes of pocono candles, a red apple wreath Yankee candle, a vase (with flowers in it), a butterfly magnet, hanging bird baths, “handing planters” (I think she meant hanging planters) a watering can or a watering can fountain? NONE of those items would be of ANY interest to my brother and I can say this with 100% certainty.
She also conveniently left some items off her “completed list” such as my mom’s lingerie chest (another item my “brother” would NEVER want), a small accent table/plant stand, and of course the straps I bought my mom for Christmas that year for her Apple Watch, amongst other jewelry, and a jewelry box that Satan took. All in which they NEVER gave me the chance to OBJECT TO, as they promised they would and were requesting I did!!!!!!
I don’t think I could adequately describe how enraged I was about ALL OF this. Yes, my brother was entitled to take stuff from the house just as I was, but here I was being told that I cannot take anything from the house without giving my brother a chance to “object” first to what I was taking, yet “he” is handing me a list of items HE TOOK without giving ME the chance to object!! In what world does ANY of this make sense?
I was so aggravated. For the most part, the stuff they took didn’t bother me. The only things I was upset about was the photo that I took of my dog and the planters and stuff that I had purchased for my mom. Still, I didn’t say a word about it. What bothered me was the fact that I knew these weren’t things my brother wound EVER want. These were ALL items his wife wanted and there is no doubt she specifically chose some of them just to hurt me. She knew how my mom felt about her. Why? Why would you even want the items of someone who you knew hated you? Maybe it’s me, but I can NEVER imagine myself taking things that belonged to my mother-in-law, especially knowing that she has a daughter who would probably want them. I’ve also known my mother-in-law for over a decade and I’ve always had a good relationship with her. Satan treated my mom like absolute shit for the 3 years she knew her! She only started cozying up to my mom after she was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer. That’s because she wanted to ensure she got my brother’s half of her estate. How can she feel Just look at some of the nasty texts she sent my mom over the years….
(You can also listen to the recorded arguments my mom had with Satan here and here and parts 2&3 here and here)
The day my mom died as we were leaving the funeral home I remember standing in the parking lot. Satan ran and sat in the car because she was all mad that I didn’t want to host my mom’s funeral dinner at the Irish pub she chose. Me, my brother and my husband stood in the parking lot for a minute and spoke to one another. My brother started going on about how we should just do an estate sale. My husband said, “well isn’t there stuff you want?”, and my brother said, “no” and went on to say how it was all crap in house and how my mom was a junk collector and pack rat. Now I’m supposed to believe he had an interest in all the junk? It was ALL his wife.
I had to let Satan know that her stupid games and empty threats were not going to work on me, and so at 3:15pm on a Sunday, on Labor Day weekend, I responded to her bullshit email:
do you even read what you wrote? You told me you wouldn’t take items from the house without first notifying me but you just gave me a list of items you took without notifying me first. I also have you on tape saying that you don’t want anything from the house, just your stuff from the attic and the utility wagon. Given the fact that you removed stuff already, and I know your list is incomplete because you started removing item back when you went to the courts and perjured yourself, saying my mom didn’t have a will, when you in fact knew she did. You want to take me to court when I took a tv and left you another one, that’s fine. Keep holding up the estate. You don’t get to tell me whether or not I can remove things or not remove things. I’m glad you are going to remember my mom by her yoga socks and decorations in your house: I would’ve thought you wanted some tools but I should’ve known better. Also that Polaroid camera didn’t belong to my mother. It was her bosses, camera just like all the other cameras in my old bedroom. She was listing them on eBay for him, but of course you wouldn’t know that because you hardly talked to her. I’m not fighting you over mugs and yoga socks. You forgot the toilet cleaner and wrapping paper you took.
I think we both know exactly why I’m addressing you as someone else.
As for the life insurance policy, you make me laugh, there is NO WAY my mom ever would’ve taken out a life insurance policy and lonely [sic] put [my brother] as the beneficiary No way. If she had a life insurance policy, there would be bank statements showing payments for premiums. The life insurance company magically knew she died and got in contact with you? Sounds fishy
Also, why would you write out a $2000 check to a doctor when she had health insurance? Did you even investigate that?
Clearly I was pissed and rightfully so. I had every reason in the world to hate this person. I was done dealing with her bullshit and I wanted her to know, Satan as per usual couldn’t just leave well enough alone. At 4:46 pm she emailed me back…..
It was Labor Day weekend and I really thought, Satan who’s an alcoholic and jumps at any chance to party and get shit faced and take photos of herself like a college girl, was going to be quiet that weekend, and for the first time in almost 2 weeks I wouldn’t have to deal with her stress, but I was wrong.
Throughout all of the bullshit I went through there were 2 things I tried to keep in mind as I went through this process, the main one being my mom. My mom and I thought a like and I often times found myself trying to think of what she would do or want me to do. Family was the utmost important thing in my mom’s life, hands down, and with that said, the second thing I tried to remember is that I was not the only one who was grieving my mom and affected by losing her. I know the one person that was most important to my mom, outside of me, my dad and my brother was my grandmother. Even though my grandmother has six kids, 4 girls (counting my mom) and 2 boys, her relationships with each of her kids are unique. My mom and my grandmother, much like me and my mom were very close. My mom was always the “brainy” one. She was the one everyone came to when they were looking for information or research on something. If my mom didn’t know the answer she would find the answer. If she didn’t know how to do something, she would figure it out. She was a very good problem solver and I know everyone respected her advice and opinions, especially my grandmother.
Looking at my family now, I have a completely different perspective than I did. My idealized views of the people I once called Aunts and Uncles has changed completely. Through all of this, I was really able to see everyone’s true colors and when I started to see them, I started to see them very vividly. My mom always said she was the black sheep, the ugly sister, and a lot of the times she would say she didn’t fit in. In some ways she was wrong, but looking at it now, I see why she felt that way. My mom differed from her sisters because she was more rational and realistic. She was more patient, caring and understanding. She was real. I think that’s why my grandma appreciated my mom so much. She knew when she needed things done, my mom was the one to make them happen. My grandma is an extremely passive person and I hate to say this, but she spent most of her life being a slave and being used and pushed around by other people. Her mother seemed to be dominating and controlling over her, and I know for sure my grandfather was too. She was always treated like she was dumb, and her opinion didn’t matter, and after decades of being treated that way, it’s almost like she needs other people to think for her. I find that some of my mom’s sisters treat her the same way. It’s almost as if they want to keep her dumb and oblivious to what’s going on. They don’t tell her things that they believe will upset her. That’s especially the case with my Aunt Bea who is her main caretaker. Aunt Bea, or “the godmother” as I like to refer to her as, controls the narrative. My grandmother only knows what Aunt Bea WANTS her to know, otherwise she is kept in the dark. My mom was her light. My mom was the one who was honest with her and kept her informed about what was REALLY going on. She cared for her and encouraged her. When my grandmother would say she couldn’t do something, my mom would tell her to stop saying she can’t, and she’s tell her that she can do anything she puts her mind to. My mom was patient with her and treated her like an actual person and not some idiot who’s head was in the clouds. I think because of that, and the fact that my grandmother only found out about my mom’s cancer, 2 days before she died (because again, Aunt Bea wanted to keep her in the dark) my mom’s death has hit my 90 year old grandmother pretty hard and you can see the physical effects it’s had on her mind. My mom’s sister’s will all write it off to the fact that my grandmother turned 90 about 3 months before my mom died, and yes I know her age is a huge contributing factor, but the amount of mental decline she’s had since my mom died has been too rapid, and I don’t believe that the human body comes with some preprogrammed setting that suddenly alters your mental capacity once you hit the age of 90. The death of a child is never an easy one. You are not supposed to outlive your kids. Period. It doesn’t matter how old you are, it is tragic and when you are that age, it’s been scientifically studied that grief effects you differently, and can have a severe impact on mental health……especially when you were kept in the dark about your child’s disease.
With all that said, I wanted my grandmother to have a chance to come into my mom’s house, to sit in her room, to look at her stuff and to say goodbye. I wanted her to be able to hand pick items that she would’ve wanted from my mom. This is something I think my mom would’ve wanted and something my grandmother needed, due to the fact that my mom’s death happened suddenly to her. She didn’t get the time she needed to spend with my mom because my Aunt Bea decided for my mom and for my grandmother, that it would be too worrisome to tell my grandma that my mom had cancer. I guess as usual Aunt Bea wasn’t thinking, because the effects of a sudden death can leave someone even more confused.
Although I do not remember exactly what happened at the time but there was some type of medical episode where my grandma was getting vertigo and she had fallen in her apartment, where she lives all alone. Instead of taking her in to one of their homes (they say she “doesn’t want to leave her apartment” *insert eyeroll) to live with them, they decided to do the next best (and less responsible) thing, and get her a life alert necklace, (in which she reminds me that she hates, every time I see her) and a walker (complete with no tennis balls to make it glide so it’s easier to walk with) in case she falls. I knew me wanting to go pick up my grandmother and bring her to the House meant I’d have to clear it with her “caretakers”, but the first person I called was my grandmother to see if it was something she’d even want to do. My grandmother was really excited about it and right away said yes, she would go, but more excited because she was going get to test out my mom’s bed in which I’d been promising her since my mom’s wake 9 months prior. My brother and his wife were giving me problems about it, in fact I my brother told me I “can’t go giving away whatever I want” and they told my husband, “everything has a value”. My mom spent thousands on this bed in 2015. It came with all the bells and whistles like massagers and lights so you can see your slippers in the middle of the night, and it was fully adjustable. Of course when I called my brother and left a message on his home phone’s answering machine telling him I was going to bring my grandmother to the house and extending the same invitation to my mom’s other sisters that I wasn’t speaking with, “he” acted like it was no big deal. That’s because by that point in time all of my mom’s siblings knew my grandmother wanted the bed, so they had to act like they were now ok with it.
With my grandma on board, I called the only sister of my mom’s that I was actually still speaking with and asked her if she can inform the other two sisters that I was taking her. Finally on the morning of Sept 2nd I called my grandmother and sure enough she starts telling me that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea that she goes, because she didn’t feel good, and she was concerned she may fall again, and she is nervous, etc. I knew my mom’s sister’s got to her. I was disappointed, but since I already had plans to go out there I decided to go spend the day with her. Of course they had to make a big deal about it and acted like it wasn’t a good idea, even though that same year my mom’s cousin brought her on a tour of Manhattan, but me bringing her to my mom’s House was a big deal. It’s only a big deal because it was me. I cared for my mom by myself for an entire year and no one thought that was a problem, but I wasn’t responsible enough to care for my own grandmother. I called my one Aunt that I was still speaking with and told her what happened as I drove over there.
Finally, I showed up at my grandmas apartment, and once I got there she had changed her mind again, and she was actually excited to go again. While I was there I just had to look on her caller ID. Sure enough right before I called her that day to come get her, right in a row, I see my Aunt B called, then my aunt Debbie and then me. From years of knowing them I know how they operate, first Aunt B calls my grandma, then she calls my aunt Debbie when she gets off the phone with My grandmother, and then my aunt Debbie calls my grandmother all so they can say things to her like, “be careful ma!”, “I’m justworried you will fall and break your hip again”, “make sure she helps you get in and out of the car”, etc etc. They purposely work her up so she’s all nervous and doubting herself. It’s the same thing narcissists do to their victims.
Anyway, I got to the house with my grandma and go to put my key in the door, and I notice the door was unlocked, and the first thing I see is a clear envelope with a stack of papers and pre-addressed envelopes that were all typed out. It was all the checks for the bills that my brother’s wife kept insisting we pay off “immediately”. Once again my brother evaded having to meet up with me. Also, I wouldn’t put it by Satan that she wanted to upset me and piss me off in an attempt to ruin my time with my grandmother. She was also sure to send me an email right at the time I was arriving there with instructions on what to do with the checks, as if I didn’t know and couldn’t figure it out on my own. It was a Saturday, the last Saturday of the summer, but I guess evil doesn’t take a day off. Here is her email sent on Sept. 2nd at 12:24pm:
I’ve left a stack of signed checks to pay the creditors. Each check is in an addressed envelope. Please sign the checks and drop them in the mail. This should take care of most of the debts. Once I receive my reimbursement check, I’ll know that the other creditors have received their checks as well.
Please return then TV from mom’s bedroom to the house. That TV was from my old apartment and I had lent it to mom. I wanted to take that TV for [my brother’s daughter]. Please let me know when you’ve returned it.
As I’ve previously requested, please do not remove anything from the house without giving me an opportunity to object. My attorney will be contacting your attorney regarding this. Please reply with confirmation that you understand that no items should be removed from the house without giving each other opportunity to object.
This fucking asshole. She really knows how to make something out of nothing. First off, the first paragraph, all of it was completely unnecessary, especially the last part about how once she receives my brother’s reimbursement check, she will know the creditors for paid. How does that even assure that? What if one of the creditors checks got lost in the mail? It’s just so stupid. She just wanted to point out the reimbursement check to make sure it was signed and she got paid. At one point in time, one of my moms sisters claimed that my brother has laid out over $12,000 paying bills, it was more like $2,000 and a lot of that was because he was seeking $600 reimbursement for filing my my mom’s sister’s petition to become executors.
As far as the part about the T.V., I was literally laughing out loud when I saw that. First off I loved that my “brother” had no idea what his own god damn TV looked like, because the one my mom had in her room, that wasn’t his. My mom purchased that TV when she redid her bedroom. My mom had 3 TVs in her house when she died. There was a small one in the kitchen and then she had one in her living room and one in her bed room that were both the exact same size. To be quite honest, the T.V. In the living room was newer and so I took the one in her bedroom thinking that they would complain if I took the newer TV. The newer one was still in the house, because I had left it there for them to take. The TV my brother is referring to that was his, was long gone. In his haste while discarding everything he owned, 3 months after meeting Satan so he could move into her house, he asked my mom if she wanted his TV, since she had purchased it for him and his ex-fiancé for Xmas one year. She said yes and intended on hanging it up in the spare bedroom, but she never got around to it. Instead it sat there for well over a year on the floor with a garbage bag over it to protect the screen. Finally one day I had asked my mom what she was doing with the TV because I was converting my guest room into a playroom for my son, and the TV we had in there was one of those old style, tube TV’s that they no longer make. My mom told me to just take it since all it was doing was taking up space. Of course I was not going to tell my brother that. At this point I really didn’t give a shit. After all the lies he had told me, why did he deserve to hear the truth?
Every time I’d see his name and his fake ass email address in my inbox my heart wound start racing because I knew it was going to be some bullshit. Every time I opened an email it got worse and worse her demands got more and more insane. She really had some nerve “requesting that I didn’t remove any items from the house” and that I reply with a confirmation that understand. What I wanted to reply with was a big FUCK YOU, SATAN!
Again, this pig showed her lack of respect for the grieving process. I was furious as I sat there with my grandmother….
My Brother’s wife was not happy that I was not complying with her ridiculous demands. I was fighting back and letting her know that I was not going to lay down and let her walk all over me the way my brother lets her. At this point in time I had all the proof I needed to know that my brother was not the one authoring these emails to me. Although my brother’s behavior changed immensely the more indoctrinated he became in Satan’s world, there are some fundamental things about a person that don’t change no matter what they go through in life. My brother has never been a leader nor has he had a “take charge” personality. In fact, my brother has always been someone who’s unsure, indecisive, and kind of needs to be told what to do in certain situations. In the past, there were many times my brother would call me seeking out advice or approval for a decision he was making. This is probably why women like Satan prey upon men like him. Now suddenly I was to believe my brother was the person coming up with all these crazy plans, making lists and spreadsheets, and throwing orders and demands around? No. The new him was the polar opposite of the old him. This was to be believed by me in addition to the fact that “he” demanded we only speak via email, coupled with the fact that he refused to meet in person and had me blocked on his phone, and insisted I only call his home phone, even during the day while he was at work, which made no sense. I was forced to leave messages on his answering machine in which he’s retrieve periodically, throughout the day, while working at his “demanding” web developer job! As my mom always used to say, “if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, it’s a duck!”, but in this case it was a vulture whom I liked to refer to as Satan.
At this point in time I knew that she was the one writing the emails and I had proof that validated it 100% to me, but in court, I could not use that proof and so I needed another way to prove it was her writing the emails. I was so sick of the condescending tone of her emails. I was desperate to prove it was her. You see when we signed the agreement in the very beginning it was clear to me and my attorneys that my brother was going to give us a hard time. Our plan was, or at least my attorneys made it seem like it was, to have my brother knocked out as executor for misconduct. My attorneys told me to keep records in which I did. I knew I’d have to show them some type of proof that my brother was breaking the agreement he signed by allowing his wife to assume his identity, and email not only me, but everyone else involved in the estate. She used the email to communicate with the banks, loan companies, utilities, whatever. I had proof of this, but the proof I had could not be used. Let’s just say the way I got the proof wasn’t a way in which I was comfortable sharing. It was so frustrating because I knew for 100% fact that she was operating the email. I knew for 100% fact that they were lying to my face. I needed to find a way to prove it that I can give to my attorneys, and so I signed up on this message board where people discussed topics like this. That was when I got a suggestion from someone to use this thing called an email tracker.
The email tracker is totally legal and legit. Companies use similar trackers for marketing purposes. This is how it works…
you have to sign up on the website, www.whoreadme.com. It’s completely free. You use their email interface (although there is a way you can use your regular email provider, i.e., Gmail; outlook, yahoo, etc.) to send your emails. The interface adds a small invisible image the size of one pixel that cannot be seen by the recipient. When you send your email through this tracker it looks as if it’s just a regular email coming from your email address, to the average recipient. When the email is opened by the recipient, the pixel sized image in the email somehow records data from the recipient. How it does that, I don’t know, but it does! As soon as the email is opened, you will receive a report from http://www.whoreadme.com. Below is a sample report.
As you can see the report contains various types of information, like the IP address of the recipient, their location, their ISP (internet service provider, i.e., Comcast, Verizon, road runner, etc) how long they read the email or had it opened, what type of browser they were using to read the email (i.e., google chrome, safari, gmail etc), their operating system, and what type of device they’re using to view the email, (i.e., iPhone, Android, iPad, windows computer, etc.)
My last regular email to my brother was sent on August 30th, 2016 11:42am, after leaving him a voicemail on his home phone.
Ps I called twice yesterday, left a voicemail, text you and emailed you twice, no answer. Please provide me with the name of the additional life insurance policy on my mom. Also the [investment account] email and password was changed. Please provide me with it. Thank you.
Sent from my iPhone
I got a prompt reply from my “brother” who was at “work” at his demanding job, exactly 5 minutes later at 11:47am.
Iwill get you this information when I get home. I am at work now.
I didn’t do anything on [investment account]. I received an email from them asking me to accept online access, and I did. Since I completed my form with separate contact information, I assumed that I would have separate access. I see no reason why this wouldn’t be the case, as we will have separate online access to [bank in which estate account was at].
I suggest you contact [investment firm] for assistance in setting up online access. This will likely be a moot point since we are just going to make a full withdrawal and deposit it to [estate account].
I sent my first email using the email tracker on August 31, 2017 to let him know I was trying to get in contact with him. I sent this email to his new email account only. It was 6:08pm and so my brother was not at work at that time.
My email read:
I tried to text you today twice. This is the fifth or so time I am asking. Please give me the name of the other life insurance policy.
have a great day.
I anxiously awaited to get my first report from the tracker. From that report I could see someone using an IPhone was reading the email, but it looked to be that they were home. At 8:09pm I got this as a reply:
I will send you the documents in a timely manner. I don’t have them with me.
Have you contacted the realtor regarding listing my mom’s house yet?
Has your attorney provided my attorney with a breakdown of the reimbursements you are claiming yet? Again, I will need to review them before signing the check.
Going forward, expenses should not be paid out-of-pocket with the expectation that the Estate will reimburse them, as an Estate account has been opened.
I also called the town to find out of there is a CO for the porch at my mom’s house and found out that there is not. The realtor had asked about this. We will need to start the process of obtaining one. This includes applying for one, having the home inspected after providing the survey and building plans. Then, a list of deficiencies will be issued if necessary. If there are no deficiencies, the CO can be issued. This can be a time-consuming process.
If you are having trouble reaching me, I can be reached at the contact information below.
[she wrote out their home address]
[she gave me their HOME phone number]
[she gave me the email address to the new email account in which I obviously already knew!]
I have to point out that this was all part Satan’s little game that she played with me. It was obvious she thought she was smarter than me, and that I was some type of clueless housewife that doesn’t understand how adult life works, but once she realized that I did have a grasp she kept adding information to try to overwhelm me. This is typical of narcissists. They are habitual “one uppers”. They need to make people feel as if they know everything and you are beneath them. All I asked for in my email was the information about the life insurance policy in which I had asked about several times, and she kept evading giving me the information, for whatever reason. There was no need to bring up the CO (certificate of occupancy) for my mom’s porch, the list of reimbursements in (which I had already told her several times that I gave it to my attorney), and all the other things. Also, take note of how she had to control the communication between me and my brother by telling me that if I wanted to contact him it had to be by regular USPS snail mail, their home phone number (not my brother’s cell phone) and the email address in which she already knew I had because we were speaking through it!
Speaking of the CO for my mom’s porch, the mention of it and her lecture about how you get one rang a bell in my head. A week or so before my mom died, she started to say things to me that let me know my brother and his wife were trying to manipulate her, the same way they tried to manipulate my husband into thinking I’m incompetent and clueless. After years of telling me that she wanted me (and just about everyone else she talked to) to take care of her affairs when she died, my mom suddenly started to doubt me and told me that she “didn’t know if I could handle it all by myself.”. When I asked her what she meant by that, she told me that she was worried that I wouldn’t ask my brother for help if I needed it, and she specifically used the CO for her porch as an example. Prior to then, my Mom NEVER doubted me, EVER. My mom knew I was very capable and that if I didn’t know how to do something I would figure it out. My mom used to joke around to her friends and family and tell them that I was the “son she never had”. I was sickened when I came to this realization. It sickened me enough my brother and his wife relentlessly hounded her about getting her affairs, as she lied there dying, but to try to manipulate someone against the closest person to them, so they could reap the benefits, it enraged me. Just think of what type of sick fuck you need to be, to take advantage of someone while they’re lying in the most vulnerable of positions that a human being can be in! She is a demon with absolutely NO moral compass. This along with many things that I wondered about while my mom was still alive, came to light during this process, because Satan would unknowingly give herself up.
I didn’t bother to respond to her email that night, in fact I don’t even know if I saw it that night. The next day was the 1st of September, and the Thursday before Labor Day. At 11:06am I logged into the tracker’s website and replied to her email. To make it look like a legit reply that was coming from my email, I added “re:” to the subject line and copied the previous correspondence in the body of the email. I typed up my letter and pressed send. Again I only had sent this one the new email address. It read:
• I don’t need documents. A name and policy number will be fine.
• I’ll call the real estate agent in a timely manner. I know [real estate agent], he was friends with my ex. Thanks for picking him.
• Don’t worry about signing my check right now. I’m not in a rush for it.
• Ok, I haven’t paid anything except for the landscaper, which I will continue to pay because it’s easier.
• I’m well aware of the lack of CO for my mom’s porch. I grew up there for my entire life.
• Oh is your cell phone is broken or something? That’s so weird that you can’t to talk to me when you are alone and can only talk from your house phone, or through this new email. It’s almost as if someone is monitoring your interaction with with me. Hope everything is ok.
You should probably get your cell phone looked at though, because it would be in the best interest of the estate, that I could get in contact with you at ALL TIMES, not just when you are home. Maybe you have the, “my phone works for email but nothing else virus”. I would get that looked at asap.
As for other things. IF you happen to go by my mom’s house tonight, please don’t leave another mess. I am bringing my [grandmother] there tomorrow to look at the bed. It will be upsetting enough that the house is vacant and still a mess from last time. There’s no need to further upset her. Oh and to answer your question about the delivery charge to the estate, I’d never do that. It’s my [grandmother]. I don’t need to be reimbursed with my own money for her. I can pay out of pocket, but thanks.
After hitting the send button on my
Email I went straight to my inbox to get the report…… I had struck GOLD!!!!
There it was, plain as day. The report came back saying that the email was accessed by someone using an iPhone, who was connected to Allstate Insurance’s ( *company name has been changed for privacy reasons) which is where my brother’s wife works! Finally, I had something I could legally use in court to show my attorney, but not before I got a few more reports to assure it was her, because I knew she’d make up some type of excuse that my brother was there for some stupid reason. At the same time this confirmed what I already knew, along with everything else, that I was 100% sure my brother’s wife was the person I was speaking with this whole time.
Almost a half an hour later, @ 11:29 am I received this reply.
Glad you know [real estate agent]. Let me know when you speak with him.
If you insist in paying for the landscaper out of your pocket, save the bills and payment receipts for reimbursement.
Since you already know about the CO, you know how difficult and time-consuming it can be to remedy. Have you taken any steps to start the process yet?
My cell phone is fully functional. I have a very demanding job, like most executors. As I’ve stated numerous times, I use my lunch break to handle Estate matters. Just because I am co-executor, that does not mean that I have to be available to you 24/7. The contact information I’ve provided is more than sufficient to get a timely response from me.
I was already well aware that you are bringing [my grandmother] to the house. As for the mess you say I left, I saw your pictures and they were nonsense. It would have taken less time to pick up the one paper and leaf than it did to snap pictures. We both know your old bedroom has been a mess since before mom passed away. And I don’t even know what I’m looking at with the hamper and bedroom. This is the last time I’ll address this.
She absolutely hated that I was giving right back to her, what she was dishing out to me! Satan was not going to tell me how things were going to be done and I wanted her to know it. Once again she is giving me instructions as if I was a child of hers. Again, she asks about the CO and now wants to know if I had taken any steps. This was another one of her tactics she used where she tried to make me look stupid and incompetent. There was so much to do before obtaining a CO for my mom’s porch,and I had asked my attorney who was on the zoning board for my mom’s town for over 2 decades, and he advised me to wait until the house was listed to see if it was even needed. If so, he then advised me that we would need to hire an expediter to obtain one. Once again, at this point in time I had only had the papers that legally allowed me to do any of this stuff, for 9 days. As a mother of a 3 year old who was starting preschool for the first time that year, I could only do so much in a week and two days.
Like most narcissists, Satan’s biggest downfall in situations like these is thinking she’s smarter than everyone, and that no one else thinks beyond the words she is saying. She believes that just because she puts something in writing, it’s the gospel truth. Here she is pretending to be my brother and stating that he “has a very demanding job”, yet he is writing these lengthy emails and replying within minutes of me sending them. She also needs to throw in the veiled insult towards me by saying “like most executors do”, to I guess say that I’m less worthy because I chose to stay home with my son. This was one of many jabs she’d take at me, about it. The funny part is, I specifically remember the second time I met her which was the first time she had ever been to my house; where she sat at my kitchen table and told me how when she was married to her ex (her second ex-husband, that is) that she had quit her job and stayed home. In fact, She was bragging about how she lived in this huge house and was home alone all day and would just sit there and spend all his money. That was one of the many things she said that made me side eye her.
The part about this email that I found most infuriating was the last part where she has the nerve to tell me that it would’ve taken less time to clean up HER mess, than it would to take a photo! When she denied knowing what mess I was referring to in an earlier email, I sent pictures along with my reply. This says a lot about who she is and really shows her complete lack of empathy, respect and consideration for other people. It’s disgusting. She also tries to justify it by saying the “room was a mess since before my mom passed”. Yes the room was cluttered and wasn’t the most organized room in my mom’s house, due to the fact it was a spare room that no one lived in, but the toys in there were all in the baskets. Thar doesn’t mean to disrespect it and make it WORSE! They picked out toys their daughter wanted and left the rest for me to clean. On a side note, I found it odd that my brother left his first train set behind. I would think he would’ve wanted it for sentimental value.
Also note the last sentence there where she tells me that this will be the “last time” she addresses the issue. That is because like all narcissists, she cannot accept responsibility for anything, and when narcissists are confronted with their wrongdoing, this is one of the many ways in which they control the conversation so they can evade it. Satan’s need for complete control is insatiable.
After exchanging those emails it hit me that while this was almost 100% full proof that she was at least reading the emails, I also needed to prove that my brother wasn’t reading them, and so from that point in time I started to send every email to both my brother’s regular account and the one Satan was operating. I needed to send another email and so I made up a reason to send one. So at 11:20am I sent a p.s. email to my brother’s regular email that was one sentence long, just so I can see if he was opening the emails from a different location on his email account. As soon as it was opened on the other end I got a report back from the tracking website and to my surprise the email sent to my brother’s regular email account, was also opened up by someone at *Allstate insurance. Then I remembered that a few days earlier my brother said he was going to redirect any emails I sent to his regular account to the new one. With that said, I tried to send him an email to his work email address so I can prove her was at work while he wife was accessing emails but I guess security is super tight where he works because their email server rejected the email.
Saturday Sept 2nd was the beginning of the Labor Day weekend and I knew I was going to have wait to collect more evidence that I could show my attorneys. I continued emailing back and forth with my brother throughout the weekend using the tracker and sending all emails to both accounts. Since both my brother and his wife were connected to WiFi and the 4G networks on their phones, and their IP addresses were changing constantly depending on where they were and what service they were using, and it wasn’t much help. I knew I’d have to wait until work started the following week, but I soon found out that evil didn’t stop working on Labor Day Weekend….
I was really starting to get fed up with the way I was being spoken to in these emails. I was done communicating with my brother’s wife. None of what was being said and how it was being said, sounded anything like the way my brother speaks. If it was him talking to me like that, things would be different, but I knew it wasn’t him. I really wanted to be on my best behavior and try to remain professional but in my mind I was not talking to my brother and so I started to address the emails as if I wasn’t talking to my brother. I also wanted her to know, she was not going to boss me around. Me and my brother are different people. I don’t allow that kind of shit. No one is going to push me around and think it’s ok and so the next day on August 28th, 2017 I wrote back to her. Being that in sarcastic by nature I knew I
Ok 👌🏻. I was confused. So I should send it to the email that you created right after signing the stipulation of settlement? I was confused which one you were using. All your emails prior to that date were from your regular account (the one you used for the last 5 years or more) . I sent an email there the other day and you promptly responded so I was confused. Thanks for clearing that up for me. ✔️✔️
• no one “refused” to go to the bank. If you really think it’s necessary to have the courts intervene, 7 days after I got the appropriate documentation to allow me to act as executor, that’s your call. Just know it’s going to cost a lot of money for you and I, and further delay the estate from being settled. If you are really looking to work in the “best interest” of the estate, that would not be the way to do it. I wanted to consult with my attorney first and today was the only day he had available. I have a right to do so both as an executor and as a beneficiary. I am going to the bank tomorrow.
• on that note, I have to ask, why are you holding the checks hostage? Why can’t I see them or hold them? Why can’t you send me at the very least, send me a copy? I have a right to see them as CO-executor. Since you refuse to communicate with me in any other way besides email, and refuse to do things together as a team, as CO-executors should, it’s going to hold everything up. It’s my fiduciary responsibility to make sure things are being done correctly and in line of what the courts require. You go and do things without telling me until AFTER, then you leave me with no choice but to investigate, consult with my attorney and make sure things are being done properly and legally. So if you want to know the honest truth, your evasiveness, refusal to answer certain questions and address certain topics, along with your vague emails, and demanding tone etc, are what is holding up the estate. So is typing these lengthy, bullet formatted, emails back and forth. The same thing can be accomplished in 4 minutes over the phone. There is no law that says things have to be done in YOUR immediate timeframe. “Timely” doesn’t mean instantly or when you say so. It means things are to be done in a reasonable amount of time. Having 99% of the estate settled in 7 days isn’t reasonable. I am acting in accordance as an executor and doing ALL of the things I am supposed to be doing. If you are so worried about having things done in a “timely” manner, since I am completing the process of opening the estate account, I thought it would make more sense for me to deposit the checks into the account when I go, instead of waiting for your “lunch break” to do everything. I am home every day, and can go to the bank at any time. I was just trying to be proactive and work efficiently, in a timely manner. I thought it would help speed up the process so we can “immediately” pay the estate debts off, like you planned. I have every right to see everything pertaining to the estate as CO-executor.
• While we’re at it, it’s “co” executor. That means we have the same level of decision making power and responsibility. Please ask your attorney what the prefix “co”, means, in this context. If you need help I can assist you in finding the definition.
• as per my attorney’s advice, the house does NOT need to be listed immediately and especially not before my mother’s personal affects are taken out. Giving strangers access to valuables in the house is NOT in the best interest of the estate. Whoever told you that has misinformed you. The house that I live in was also part of an estate. The listing photos online showed it completely empty. If you disagree, call your attorney & tell him to call mine.
• the [cancer insurance] denial letters you have are from November of last year when I was trying to submit the claims online and kept getting an error message. It has the dates right on the letters from when the claims were denied. Obviously I know how to submit the claim, as i am sure you can see in the monthly bank statements you’ve been receiving of my mom’s since December of last year, Aflac paid the approx. $20,000 claim for when my mom was hospitalized 8/1/16 to 8/28/16 . I don’t need your assistance, but thank for offering. I didn’t submit or try to submit any recent claims so if you’re receiving letters recently, maybe you were trying to submit claims.
• the PO box address is [redacted] in and you’re more than welcome to come to my house and pick up the key if you want it. You can also change the addresses on whatever is coming to your home and send the rest of the mail there so we both have access. Thanks.
• please give me the name of the real estate agent that you would like to use so I can contact them as well, with any questions I have. Your attorney doesn’t do real estate, as he told my attorney today, so that’s not much of a compromise. It kind of has to be my attorney by default….. or we can waste money on yet ANOTHER attorney. We can discuss who is going to list the house over the phone. What happened to your buyer?
• I already have a “comp”. I said appraisal because that was the term my attorney used on the phone with me. They are not “free”, Nothing in this world is free. You are taking someone’s time up. Usually the broker expects you to list with them. Still there is no need to get four. that’s a little excessive and a waste of time. The prices aren’t going to vary too much between agencies because they’re all using the same information to get their prices. I took the real estate courses and was licensed.1 I know how it works. If you want to waste time getting that many, be my guest. Yours is a little higher than mine, but [my brother] can call me and we can discuss listing prices.
• also, I need the name of the other life insurance company, instead of a vague mention of its existence. I cannot do anything with that. Back on Nov. 20th you told me that your “underwriters” ran my mom’s life insurance policies and they all lapsed except one, which is the one we used to pay the funeral. As you can imagine, I am confused at this news that there is an additional policy. Also, I’m pretty sure it said [insurance company name] on the funeral bill and not whatever name you said. Maybe I am wrong. I’ll have to investigate that as well.
• As I said before, with all of the money I will be reimbursed with, I gave my attorney the list, receipts, cancelled checks and/or supporting bank statements. Sorry, but I am not sharing anything with my personal banking information on it, with you because I don’t know who I am talking to through this email, since this is not the address I have known “you” to use for the last five or more years. You can have your attorney contact my attorney for information, regarding that. Just FYI, your list, you need to provide copies of receipts and cancelled checks (front and back), not just ones you wrote out and the billing statement, in order for you to be reimbursed. Just thought I’d let you know.
• as for the [car loan holder] check….so when you changed the address on the [car] account back before April, you changed it to an address that didn’t exist, and now the check is lost? That’s not good.
Ps. Human to human, if you go to my mom’s house, please do not leave a mess again. I would not walk In your house and do that. You cut the lock off her shed, which was completely unnecessary and somehow pulled one of the window boxes off. I assume you were using it to give yourself some leverage while you cut the lock. Those are pretty heavy duty locks. Instead of going through all that trouble, you could’ve called me and asked me where the key was and I would’ve told you. Also, you threw papers on the floor and left a mess all over the dining room table and in my old bedroom, plus you left all sorts of lights on that don’t need to be on. Let’s keep the bills down. That’s in the best interest of the estate. Please treat my mother’s house with some respect. Some of us are also grieving as we go through this process. Just because she isn’t here anymore it doesn’t mean we stop acting like human beings.
Sent from my iPhone
I was lucky to have my mom’s neighbors/my friends looking out for me. They were all well aware of the situation between my mom and I, and my brother and his wife. My mom had told them all the story. She told everyone the story. Everyone knew how my mom felt about my brother’s wife. It was no secret. It was amazing because for three years prior to my mom’s death, my brother and his wife were NEVER at her house. In fact, my brother didn’t even have a key to my mom’s house for almost an entire year before my mom died. She had broken the key off in the lock the winter prior to us finding out she had cancer, and she had to get a new lock and key. Since my brother never came by, she never gave him a copy. It wasn’t until after her diagnosis that she finally gave him a copy.
My mom’s neighbors alerted me one day that my brother was over the house and he and his wife were removing things from my moms house. I had been there in the days prior removing things as well and trying to get the house cleaned up so we can list it. There was no rule that my brother got first dibs on the items in the house. There were things in there I wanted like a mirror that hung by our front door that my mom had for my whole life. I also wanted one of her kitchen chairs. My mom had the same chairs from when I was a kid and my dad never sat in the den with us. He always watched TV in the kitchen sitting on those chairs. It was his favorite spot and so I wanted to keep one to remember him by. Anyways when I went back to the house I noticed that my brother and his wife took some of the cleaning supplies and so I left them a note asking that they please don’t take anymore cleaning supplies, so I could clean and empty the house. Satan, being the cheap millionaire she is, was taking cleaning supplies and even took my mom’s toilet paper!
I came back to the house the next day and this is what I saw…..
When I wrote the note, I grabbed a small stack of printer paper and left the note on top, on my mom’s kitchen table, when I came the next day someone had swiped the note off the table and all the paper with it, and just left it there. No class at all.
Satan helped herself to my mom’s stuff. I could see someone went through her room. They dumped out her hospital bag in her bed and left the clothes all over her bed. Satan took some of my mom’s planters as well. Because the house was empty for 8 or so months the some of her plants died. It looks like they took the plant out of the pot and left all the dead plant debris on my mom’s dining room table, like the pigs they are.
This here is a perfect example of the lengths Satan will go through to keep me and my brother from speaking. As I said in my email, they brought bolt cutters with them and cut the master lock off her shed! There was absolutely no need to do that. If they couldn’t find the key a simple phone call to me would’ve solved the problem. Instead they cut through a lock and in the process, they broke the window box off the shed.
Satan is a piece of shit, but my brother is an ever bigger piece of shit for allowing her to disrespect my mother’s house and me like that. That’s a narcissist for you though. They don’t give a shit. They don’t care that someone is grieving. They don’t care if you’re the one who has to clean it up. They don’t care that someone is dead. My note asking them to leave cleaning products pissed her off and so she decided to shit all over me.
The next day, Aug. 29, 2017 she sent me multiple emails. The first one was this at 7:56am in the morning: (pay close attention to the parts I underlined)
Please see images of checks attached. I will deposit once account is open. I met with 2 real estate agents for free. Here is one [real estate agent] (xxx) xxx-xxxx. He would like to show house this week. You can go to every showing to let him in and to make sure nothing is touched. Please call him today.
P.S. Your phone seems“to” have “been” infected “with” some sort of malware “that” inserts “quotes” around words “at” odd intervals.
Then came this at 8:15am:
Please find attached either cancelled checks or online statements if they were ACH. Please review once again.
Please provide a list without proof of all bills you have paid for my review. I will only need proof if anything looks out of ordinary.
I replied back at 11:03 am with:
Well the house is in no shape to show it after the mess you left. Please call and cancel. I’ll have my attorney call you. You don’t just go and make appointments without informing me.
And my “brother” who has that demanding job, he replied back exactly 7 minutes later at 11:10am with this..
I haven’t made any appointments and I don’t know what mess you’re talking about. I’m not going to argue back and forth about it either.
I only asked that you call him so that we can make arrangements so that he CAN show the house. Again, no appointments or showings have been set. We haven’t even signed any contracts to list the house with him yet, as you probably remember from your real estate licensing courses.
You can have your attorney contact my attorney, not me directly. And again, call [real estate agent] so that we can take the next steps to have the house listed for sale to begin the process.
pay close attention to the “I’m not going to argue back and forth about it either”.
The funny thing is, they actually did go and sign a contract with that agent without telling me.
I responded back to her at 11:13am
No idea what AHC is but ok. Are you the attorney for the estate? I don’t need to give you anything as per my attorney. My lawyer will determine if anything looks “out of the ordinary.”
You see the thing with Narcissists like Satan is they try to talk and sound like they’re so important. She has to use all her insurance sales person terminology. She acts like she’s so highly educated. Anyone can become an insurance sales agent like her. A high school diploma or equivalent is all that’s required.
At 11:36am while “my brother” was still at that demanding job of his, he replied…
ACH – Automated Check Clearing house. It’s an electronic check.
And no, I’m not an attorney for the Estate, but you need my signature on the check. I’m not going to sign a reimbursement check without a breakdown of what is being reimbursed.
And here we go. Here is the first of the threats to not sign checks. Again, this is so characteristic of her. At that point, I was not even seeking reimbursement for any money I laid out, yet she demanded I handed her lists for it.
In the meanwhile, I went down to the bank and completed opening the account. I tried to text my brother from the bank, but I could see because my messages were coming back green that he had me blocked, once again. On an iPhone, messages are automatically sent through apple’s messaging system, iMessage, if the system detects it’s going to another iPhone, and when messages are blue that means they went through iMessage. When a message comes back green, it means either the recipient doesn’t have an iPhone, turned iMessage off (and their messages are going through their service providers SMS), or…..has you blocked! So if people want to know if someone has blocked them on their iPhone, this is one way you find out! I knew my brother blocked me because he told me he was going to months prior.
I was completely fed up at this point in time. This demon seed again, was not going to tell me how I was going to settle MY MOTHER’S estate. I knew I needed to come up with a plan in order to get Satan out of the picture…:.
I was FURIOUS after receiving that “follow up” email from my brother. It was just completely unnecessary to send that to me. I can tell Satan, (my brother’s wife) was getting angry that I wasn’t just lying back and letting her push me around like she does with everyone else in her life. I was sick of her telling me how things were going to be done and what was in the “best interest of the estate”. Trust me when I say, NOTHING they wanted to do was in the best interest of the “estate”. Everything was in their THEIR best interest. That’s all they were concerned about from day one. Satan did not give one flying fuck that my mom had passed away, that I was grieving, that this was extremely hard for me. She just wanted that money, and she wanted it A.S.A.P.! I didn’t even reply to her email.
I finally got my corrected copies of the Letters of Administration in August 23, 2017. After over 8 months of fighting I was able to prove I was an executor of my mother’s estate. It was bittersweet. I knew my mom would’ve been happy to know that at least one person cared to carry out her wishes in the way she wanted. I thank god I fought for it. I can’t even imagine how things would’ve went had I not been involved at all. The one and only thing I wanted from day one was to be able to go through her house and preserve what little was left of my family. People will often say they are just objects but when you lose both of your parents and you and your sibling are split apart, those things become extremely invaluable. My mom was very sentimental, as am I, and I knew there were items in her home that she wouldn’t want to be just tossed away like they were worthless.
In the meanwhile my brother had gone to the bank without me and started the process of opening the estate account, which he shouldn’t have done. He didn’t tell me he had gone there until afterwards. He also went to my mom’s Bank and closed out her account and took all the money without telling me. There was nothing he could do with the checks but still, it was wrong of him to go without me and inform me AFTER he did it. My brother would not compromise with me whatsoever it was either his way or no way.
He sent me this email on August 24, 2017 at 2:35pm in the afternoon (while he was at his “demanding job”)
I’ve gone to BNB and signed what I need to sign in order to open the Estate account. I’ve also provided an original Death Certificate.
The only things that they now need to open the account are the original, corrected Letters Testamentary and your information and signature. Please to provide the corrected letters when you go to the Bank.
If you complete and send over the attached form in advance of going to [the bank], you should be in and out of the bank in five minutes as I was.
Please let me know once you’ve been able to go to the bank to complete the opening of the account.
I was so annoyed. Once again my “brother” thought he was just going to railroad me. He thought I was clueless and completely incompetent and so I wanted to surprise him that I was being proactive about the estate and doing what had to be done, so
I sent my “brother” this email later that night, on August 24th, but I REFUSED to send it to the new fake email address that I knew his wife was wife was operating, and so instead I sent it to the email address I had known my brother to have for the last few years. It was the same email address he had emailed me from earlier in the year before we were executors. I had already told him I knew I wasn’t talking to him over that email. My email read:
[mailto: [my emailaddress.net]
Sent: Thursday, August 24, 2017 10:27 PM
To: [mybrother’s regular email address]
Subject: Estate Progress Report
I got your email the other day. I’ve been busy working on things that must be done for the estate.
• I went to [investment firm #1] today and began the process of opening an estate account. You need to go there and provide them with your social security number and signature.
• thank you for ordering mommy’s health records, but that isn’t necessary. I already have the proper documentation needed in order to file her [cancer insurance]claim.
• spoke with [bank personnel] at [a different investment firm] and provided my information for her to send me documents.
• we will need to speak about consolidating all accounts into one where both signatures are required for any transactions.
• as per my attorney’s advice, I opened a PO box and had mommy’s mail forwarded to it. You can have a key. I listed you as someone who can also access the box if need be.
• I spoke to [car company] about the $9000 check that was delivered to [his attorney’s address] where your attorney’s old office was, prior to the decision his federal case. Whomever supplied a letter to [car loan holder] that your attorney was representing the estate way back when I filed my objection, they need to call them and tell them that there is another attorney and executor whom is allowed to retain info for the estate.
• as per our conversation on 8/22, I have started to clear out and clean the house. I will provide you with a list of any items I have removed, please provide me with yours too. If you go there please do not remove anymore packing and/or cleaning supplies.
•I have contacted 2 home appraisers as you previously requested. I do not think it’s necessary to pay for four separate appraisals as two is more than enough. I also contacted an agent and real estate attorney. My attorney strongly advised against selling the house privately as it is NOT in the best interest of the estate.
• I have contacted various family members about giving [our grandmother] mommy’s bed if you are still on with that. I have pick up and delivery arranged for when the time comes.
• just for your records, I got in touch with [human resources person] regarding mommy’s 401, her profit sharing and group life insurance. As you are, I am waiting for his reply
• I went to chase and got printout statements for all four of her accounts
• I paid the outstanding balance for her Landscaping.
• I am in touch with General Utilities regarding her outstanding balance with them.
• I will be paying part of the the PSEG bill since there hasn’t been a payment since Since June and I would rather not see the electric turned off.
Please see the two attached lists I have included. I am still working on preparing detailed lists and figures with my attorney, including my reimbursements with receipts and supporting bank statements.
I wanted my brother and his wife to know that although they tried very hard to keep me in the dark about my mother’s finances, I was well informed about them and I was doing my homework. One of the things I discovered not about them, but about their attorney was quite shocking and I discovered it totally by accident. My attorney was trying to get in touch with him and he wasn’t hearing back. I was just curious one day so I typed their attorney’s name into google. I was shocked when the first result to pop up was a .pdf of a legal document where he was the defendant. Apparently he and a few of his buddies got involved in some type of supplement business and they decided to pull a Ponzi scheme of sorts where they sold bogus stocks for a bogus company to people. It seemed he was in hot shit with the Federal Trade Commission and had to pay restitution in the tune of 4 MILLION dollars! You can’t make this shit up! I later found out Satan of course was the one who retained this scumbag. Birds of a feather flock together I suppose.
I didn’t get a response to my email but instead two days later on August 26th, at 9:00am on a Saturday morning, I got another email from my brother that read:
Advising again that I have already completed my portion for [the bank] to open up the estate account. Since Saturday is the only day you can go I would assume it would be completed today.
Thank you for going to [bank my mom had her accounts at] first it made me obtaining the certified checks very quick and easy. It was just over $26K. Once you have notified me that the estate account is open at [bank], I will process a for deposit only for these checks. They will clear in one day. Please provide me with the account #.
I will follow up later regarding other estate issues.
First off, I never said Saturday was the only day I could go. I just said it was more convenient for me. I offered to go after work hours one day during the week but that wasn’t good enough for them because Satan cannot allow my brother to go anywhere without her, that doesn’t have a definitive time limit. God forbid him and I spoke to one another.
I woke up late and missed the Bank that Saturday morning. The next day was Sunday, August 27th, and so I didn’t bother to respond to her. Later that night however I received an email from her. I’m going to share a portion of the email in screen shots because I want you to see exactly how she formatted it…. the beginning portion read…
I’ve only just received this email as you are sending it to an account that I no longer use. Please send it to the [fake email account ran by Satan] account as this is my active account. Going forward, your emails will be redirected to that account so that I don’t miss them.
First let me address some main issues:
• I did not request that you get an appraisal on the house. I requested that you get two comps/market analysis on the house, as I am getting comps on the house as well (See my prior email of 8/22). A market analysis is something that a realtor will give you to estimate an appropriate listing price for a house based on recent sales (comps) and listings of similar houses in the similar neighborhoods. These are free!! An appraisal will cost upwards of around $400.00. The buyer of the house will pay for an appraisal as a part of getting a mortgage to buy the house. The Estate should not, and won’t cover the cost of an appraisal. Please cancel your appointment and make appointments with realtors to get comps. If you insist on getting an appraisal instead of a comp, that will be a cost that will come out of your pocket.
• As per your email you are stating that you refuse to proceed to open an estate account unless I drop off checks at your house. That is completely unacceptable. Please consult with your attorney immediately. If you refuse to conduct estate business in a timely matter, we will leave it up to the court to decide. There is no need to have those checks in your possession prior to opening an estate account. When you plan on going to [the bank], please advise of date and time and I will bring signed checks to the teller at that point. Once again, if you continue to refuse to conduct estate business timely, I will request it be taken out of your hands. An estate account is of utmost importance at this time.
• I have already contacted 2 real estate agents which both suggest listing at $349,000. One of which offered a reduced commission of 3% instead of the standard 4%. Please be advised that any delay on your part would also be considered refusal or delay of estate business. The house needs to be listed ASAP. It does not need to be emptied first. Please remember this is in the best interest of the estate.
• If you would like to use your choice of attorney and my choice of agent, that could be a fair compromise. Consult with your attorney.
**Please see my comments below in red.
Below is how she addressed the things I wrote in my email…
Clearly she was IRATE that I had been taking action to start settling the estate. This is coming from someone who was trying to get her hands on my mom’s money 3 days after she passed. To say I was fucking infuriated after reading this email, was an understatement. There was NO NEED WHATSOEVER to speak to me like this. For starters, if my email went to an address that was no longer used, how the fuck did you see it? Take note that she tells me my emails are going to be forwarded to the “other” account because it will be relevant in the future. She did request I get an appraisal and so I contacted an appraiser. The condescending tone this whole entire email is just so not my brother. It’s just not how he speaks AT ALL, even when he’s angry. The threats to take “estate business out of my hands”; they way she marked up my email like she is some sort of teacher, the demands that I “contact my attorney IMMEDIATELY”, all of it had HER written all over it. She was obviously very, very upset that I am not a pussy like my brother is. I had to laugh too at some of the stuff she was saying because she was completely clueless. The “rejection” letters she got, those were MONTHS old. While my mom was in the hospital during her last month of life, she asked me to file a claim for her with her cancer insurance company because she wanted to have money to pay bills since she was not working, and not collecting any type of disability. I tried to file the claims online but the company’s website was giving me trouble. That is why, she got the rejection letters. I eventually was able to fax my mom’s claim and clearly since my Brother and his wife were collecting all her mail, they could see in her bank statements that the claim did in fact, go through, and money was deposited in her account from the insurance company. Also, the rejection letters clearly state when the claim was filed and they could clearly see it was from before my mom passed. This was something Satan, the narcissist did throughout the whole process of settling this estate. She would try to create this narrative that I was completely incompetent. I guess so she had “proof” to show the court?
Her need for control and malignant, overt narcissism was really starting to shine. I want you to also take note of how she tells me to “mail the key for the P.O. Box” and proceeds to give me their home address. They live 7.5 miles away from me. It’s about a 10-15 minute ride. My brother’s job is 3 miles away from me. I easily could drop the key off to him at work, or driven to their house, like NORMAL siblings would do, and vice versa, but she was insisting I waste time and money mailing it to them. I mean it’s just so ridiculous. She denies that she controls my brother yet she can’t even let us meet at the Bank or exchange a key, for fucks sake!
The last thing I want you to take note of is the mention of the “additional life insurance policy.”. The day my mom died and I was forced by them to go immediately to the funeral home to plan her wake services, I was told by my brother’s wife who was unfortunately there, that my mom had three life insurance policies and all but one had lapsed due to non-payment. The next day they called my husband and told him to tell me that I should take as much money out of my mom’s account because all three policies had now lapsed and that we weren’t going to have money to pay her funeral. In my vulnerable state I went against my better judgement, because I had a feeling they were lying and I took $1600 out of my mom’s account through the ATM. Then magically the next day, it was, oops we were wrong! The one policy didn’t lapse. As you can see; she even mentions it and that it paid for the funeral so you can imagine how surprised I was that I was now being told there was an “additional life insurance policy”. This was the third mention of it too. It was mentioned it once in the very first email to me and again in the second. She just had to point out how I was “wrong” too. As you will see in the next few posts, she used this information to torture me.
I was fed up at this point in time. Realistically we were only a few days into settling this estate and already it was a fucking nightmare.
Under normal circumstances I never would’ve had a problem with my brother’s spouse helping settle my mom’s estate. In fact I often imagined how things would’ve been had Satan not been in the picture. I think had he still been with his ex, things would’ve gone a lot smoother and there’s no question we all would’ve worked as a team. I cannot for the life of me understand why Satan felt the need to control my mom’s estate, or even the need to be involved. There is absolutely nothing fun about finalizing someone’s existence on paper. All she cared about from day one, was the nice chunk of change my brother was going to inherit. Things could’ve been totally different and even somewhat civil had she approached everything in a different manner. Like most narcissists, Satan had a massive amount of entitlement. She thinks just because she’s married to my brother, she automatically gets our respect. She thinks because she is his wife, she had a right to control every aspect of his life, including his interactions with his family. That’s because she had my brother convinced since day one that she was the most intelligent person on the planet and that she has experience doing anything and everything you can think of. In fact, I recently listened to a tape of her and my mom arguing back from when her and my brother first got engaged and our relationship went south. At that point in time she had only been around for a little over 6 months and had met my extended family on only one occasion, yet she is talking about my family as if she is already part of it. The part I have the most trouble with is that this woman treated my mother horribly for over 2 years prior to her death. She spoke to my mom like she was a worthless piece of dirt, and it wasn’t just once or twice. It’s evidenced in a collection of nasty texts and recorded arguments. She only started to treat my mom a little better only a few months before my mom found the mass on her kidney. My mom did not care for Satan at all but began at that point to tolerate her just so she could see her granddaughter.
Although the relationship became somewhat amicable between her and my mom in the last 8 months or so of my mom’s life, my mom couldn’t stand Satan and her feelings about her were no secret, especially to her family. My mom’s two closest sisters act like they didn’t know how my mom felt. That is another thing I still cannot wrap my head around. My family thinks I am somehow in the wrong for not wanting to her involved in my mom’s affairs. For starters, my mom made it more than abundantly clear that she didn’t want her involved either. Also, looking at it from my point of view, Satan is essentially a stranger to me. I never had any type of relationship with her because I never got time to build one and to be quite honest, it was clear that she had no interest in building one from the very beginning. With that said, I’d love to ask my family, why is it ok that I have to be forced to discuss and negotiate my mother’s estate with a dishonest stranger in whom I didn’t care for or trust? She is a proven liar. Why should Satan get my respect? I tried to be amicable with her. I tried to tolerate her, but time and time again she overstepped boundaries by doing things like, invading my mother’s privacy, planting cameras in her house, lying to and manipulating my mother while she lie on her death bed etc. Maybe I am wrong but I cannot just forget the way she treated my mom for all those years, especially since there was never any sort of apology, culpability or even so much as an acknowledgment on her end, that she was shitty to my mom. I’m sorry, but I think I have good reason to not trust this person and to not want to deal with her. Everything she had shown me was not just negative but straight up devious.
I wanted Satan to know that I knew she was the person writing those emails to me. I assume their attorney finally got in touch with them because the next email I got from my brother was “him” saying that he had tried to call me. He left me his number but it wasn’t his cellphone number. It ended up the number he gave me was the landline number at their house. That was the only number I was allowed to call. I’m sure this was so Satan could intercept and screen my phone calls before my brother called me back. Every time I tried to call it, I got their answering machine. I called my brother back for what ended up being the only and only time I actually physically spoke to him during the entire year that we were co-executors. You can listen to the phone call on YouTube by clicking here.
It was clear from this call that my brother was being coached by his wife. The call only helped to confirm my suspicions that my brother was not the one writing the emails. I brought up several issues that were discussed in the emails, and he had no idea what I was talking about. My brother also recorded this call, and reportedly in his copy his wife can be heard writing furiously with a sharpie marker, banging the table to get his attention and whispering responses in his ear. Again, I know how my brother normally acts and speaks and I could tell that he was being coached. This is why Satan did not want us speaking on the phone or in person. It was too hard for her to control the conversation that way. My brother NEVER was a good liar, and in fact, it was a running joke in our household because he was so terrible at it. When he started smoking at age 16 he didn’t even bother lying to my parents about it. Instead, he walked into the kitchen one day and slammed a pack of Marlboro reds on the table and said, “Mom and dad, I smoke now.”. Ever since he met Satan, he’s been forced to lie, but as his sister, I can still tell when he’s lying. I can hear the hesitation in his voice after I ask questions and I can tell by his hostile reactions to my questions.
I also want to address the fact that you can clearly hear that I’m annoyed as well in this phone call. I really tried to keep my cool but at this point in time it was extremely hard for me. This was after months and months of lies and sneaky behavior, plus the fact that they were trying to act as if they were the estate bosses, and I was some sort of minion. They didn’t care that I was in “control” when my mom was sick. They didn’t care that I was the main care taker. They didn’t help with ANYTHING substantial while she was sick, but now suddenly they felt entitled to not only help, but to completely control everything and boss me around. All the prior bullshit really bothered me, but I think what bothered me the most was the complete lack of emotion from my brother. Not once throughout this whole process did I hear him express any type of sorrow or grief about my mom. In fact she was hardly ever mentioned. There were times I tried to pull emotions out and I expressed how sad I was, and how hard this was for me, but all I got in return was cold, unemotional, robotic responses. That was because I wasn’t talking to my brother. Still, even in this phone call he is so cold. His only concern was getting his money. He was completely unbothered by the fact that we had to part with our childhood home and everything in it. I feel sorry for my brother. I pity him. I cannot imagine not being able to be vulnerable in front of my husband. It’s clear that my brother cannot show any weakness in front of his wife. During the last two days of my mom’s life it became evident to me. When Satan was around he would just sit there with this blank look on his face. When she finally left that last night to go to the party she was hosting at her house (I can’t make this shit up!) I saw him cry for the first time. When she wasn’t there I saw tears. My friend who was also my mom’s nurse that night said she came in at one point and my brother was in my mom’s room alone, bawling his eyes out. I want to believe that the brother I once knew is somewhere inside and that he’s not the cold, empty shell he has to be when Satan is around. It’s so disheartening to see someone that you’ve known your whole life to be sensitive and caring, turn into an emotionless robot. I hate Satan. She stole my brother’s soul and completely destroyed it.
Because Satan can’t leave well enough alone, the next day I received another bullshit, formally written, bullet formatted unnecessary e-mail from my “brother”, to “follow-up” on our call that read:
Subject: Estate Follow-up – Conversation of 8/21/2017
Per our conversation last night:
• I‘ve attached email that I received from the bank regarding opening the Estate account. I’ve already forwarded my information to the bank, and I will drop off the originals that I have prior to the opening of the account. As I have repeatedly stated, I am only available Monday through Friday on my lunch break. I am not available any Saturdays and this is non-negotiable. Upon closing the [bank] accounts and receiving certified / bank checks, the estate account will be opened and bills will be paid immediately on site.
• I will forward you the email from the accountant. She will send us her fee and mail us tax returns for signature.
• You said that you will make the claim for [my mother’s cancer insurance] I will send you her medical records once I receive them. Please send me a copy of the claim.
• Have you forwarded the mail yet?
• I will contact the investment accounts and get the necessary paperwork.
• I’ve contacted [my mother’s job] regarding the profit-sharing plan.
• [water supply company] is sending a current bill to me.
• [loan company] is sending me account information.
• I sent a certified death certificate and an original letter to her life insurance company as they have requested it numerous times, so that they can pay the death benefit.
• Please obtain two comps from local realtors for the house. I will do the same. A private sale is always in the best interest of the Estate. The house does not need to be emptied at all before it can be offered for sale. We will have plenty of time to clean it out before the closing. Paying any more bills on the house is not in the best interest of the Estate.
• I will take my personal items from the house. I will give you an opportunity to object to any non-personal items that I’d like to take. I’ve already stated that I’d like to take the utility wagon from the shed.
• Per the Stipulation of Settlement, as co-executors the approval of both of us is required to take any action on the Estate. That does not mean that we both physically need to be present to complete all actions, as long as written approval to act is provided. Documents that require two signatures can be signed in counterparts. Please consult your attorney if you have any questions about this.
I was COMPLETELY. FUCKING. FED. UP. Satan had to go…..
Prior to receiving our letters of administration to be executors of my mother’s estate, my brother signed an agreement, as did I, that read:
“That all business is to be transacted by the EXECUTORS in their PERSONAL capacity, and NO surrogate shall have the authority to ACT IN PLACE of one or the other executor…”.
This did not include the help of professionals like attorneys, accountants, realtors, etc. my attorneys added this specifically to make Satan’s power of Attorney over my brother completely useless in this context but of course like all narcissists, Satan doesn’t like playing by the rules.
People have a certain way about them when they express themselves that can be detected even in writing. I know how my brother talks and articulates himself. I know how he acts. I know how he is. I know there are certain things I can say to him that will trigger him. I know that the person I was talking to via this new email address was not him.
Starting the day after my mom’s wake every single place I called in regards to my mother would tell me that they had already spoken to Satan. I called her bank, her money market accounts, her cell phone provider, etc., and everyone said they had already spoken to Satan and they called her by name. Even though she never legally took my brother’s last name, she was conveniently using it to make these calls so it sounded like she was the child of my mother. Why was this stranger calling up on my mom’s behalf? The most sickening part of all of this was that my so-called Aunts were WELL AWARE of the fact that my mom did not want my brother’s wife involved in her affairs, yet they all sat there and supported her being involved. Not only did they support her but they actually encouraged it.
My attorneys were aware of my concerns that my brother had made a new email address and that I didn’t think I was speaking to him, and so their advice to me was to wait until we had received the letters of administration, and to ask him if we can meet up somewhere to discuss the estate. Although I didn’t have the letters yet, I did not want to be accused of not communicating, and so I wrote back suggesting we meet up somewhere in order to discuss things, and in response to my email this is what I got back.
“I will be unavailable to meet person as I will be handling most of the estate via email and/or my attorney. Per my attorney, I will only be needed in person to open the bank account and to attend the closing.
I have twice sent you copies of bills that I’ve paid and bills that need to be paid. Please send me the same from your end. If email isn’t good for you, you can send them to me via USPS.
Please email me your questions and or concerns that you wanted to discuss. I will review them and consult my attorney if needed, then send you my response.”
At this point it was becoming more and more clear that my brother was not the person in whom I was speaking with. The fact I can tell by the way he was speaking, coupled with his refusal meet with me in person or talk on the phone, strongly suggested that it was Satan who was acting as a wizard of oz,of sorts, hiding behind the curtain of a fake email address. I printed my brother’s email and took it to my attorney’s office and on August 18th 2017, I sent my brother this email.
I just sat down with my attorney who called your attorney while I was there. Your attorney agreed that we need to meet up to discuss how this estate is going to be settled as CO-executors. I already asked you when you can meet up and was told you would be “unavailable” and your attorney advised you that you’d only need to be present to open the bank account and for the closing. That is not what he just told my attorney on the phone. He also informed us that you received ten official copies of the letters yet you never responded to my email where I told you I didn’t have copies. You never informed me that you had copies. I just want to remind you that you signed an agreement. Please pay close attention to numbers 2 & 3 on that agreement. We HAVE to do this together and communicate. If you are looking to save money by not hiring a real estate agent and wanted to get money off the last months insurance, your refusal to communicate with me is going to cost more than any amount we can save. We are both on the letters. Let’s not waste mom’s hard earned money on lawyer’s, as you said when you emailed me back in March. I have a pretty flexible schedule so please let me know when you can meet up so we can start settling this estate the right way and get it done in a timely manner so we can move on with our lives.
P.s If you want to talk you can also call me. (XXX) XXX-XXXX that is much easier for me as I do not check my emails often.
I had expressed in an earlier emailthat I had never received the copies of the letters that my attorneys had ordered. This was a whole other mess I had to investigate on my own. My brother sent me his first email on July 31st. I never replied. On August 9th he resent the same email only he edited the first paragraph from, “I spoke with my attorney this past week. He advised that all surrogate court is waiting for is your original signature on
the settlement agreement, which your lawyer stated you would be signing shortly. The papers will be issued shortly after they get it, I assume” to vaguely say, “The court has all the papers and everything is set to go now.”. The fact that he had edited the first paragraph made me question why he did so and so I decided to call the surrogates court myself and I found out that ten copies of the letters had been sent to my brother’s attorney by accident, instead of mine. I had sent an email to my brother stating that I didn’t have the letters yet and my “brother” opted not to tell me that he had received them. Instead he vaguely wrote that everything was “set to go”. After that I had to go on a wild goose chase to get myself copies of the papers. I realized my name was spelled incorrectly, and so I had to make multiple trips back and fourth to the surrogates court in order to get that corrected. When I told my brother his copies were no good he refused to turn them in. He told me he had already given them out to some bill collectors but he wouldn’t tell me exactly who.
In my email I also pointed out numbers 2&3 of the agreement (see above)which were the paragraph I pasted above about each executor having to do all transactions in their own capacity, and another paragraph in which stated that we were both responsible for our own legal fees. This means that the money we paid to our attorneys came out of our pockets and not the estate. I was trying to point out that every time we had to call our attorneys for stupid nonsense like my brother’s refusal to speak to me, we were being charged for it. My brother did not seem to care however. In response to my email I received this from my “brother”….
Yesterday, I received the certificates I requested. I would assume you would have requested your own copies. I will bring one for the bank and an extra one for you when we meet at [the bank] to open up an estate account. I will make an appointment at the [the bank] near my office, as I will be doing this on my lunch break. Once again, please send me the bills that need to be paid and also an itemized bill for what you have paid for the estate to date. I have sent you my copies twice.
For the mail, I suggest we do change-of-addresses on all known accounts and creditors. Then, we can do a mail forward for everything else. We can either get a P.O. Box, or just have it forwarded to your address.
Since most of the bills already come to my address and you have online access to those accounts, I’ll continue to receive them. You can have all the investments go to yours and provide me with online access. Feel free to call the investments and change address.
I would suggest meeting at the bank to open the estate account and get the bills paid, then we can take it from there. Paying the outstanding balances is the most pressing matter.
Again please send me the list you have including address, account numbers and amounts due. I will write out envelopes for each and the bank can issue checks that day. Once I have your list, I will make the appropriate appointment.
Ugh, reading these emails again is getting my blood boiling. As you can see he was evading the whole part where I said that his attorney said that we needed to discuss these matters in person. He completely glazed right past it. The business like, robotic manner that this letter is written in is so bizarre, in and of itself. That is not the way my brother speaks or writes. This is the way in which all these emails were written. There was absolutely no emotion involved.
My brother was being very pushy. He was demanding that I give him a list of bills in which I paid and other bills that needed to be paid, meanwhile they had all the mail. My attorney’s advised me to go over all bills before paying them to make sure the claims are valid. I had no access to the bills since my brother was illegally stealing the mail since the day my mom passed. He was going online, pretending to be my mom, and doing illegal mail holds , and then authorizing himself to retrieve the mail at the post office. Basically he was impersonating my mom. He never informed the post office that my mom had passed. My attorney advised opening a PO box that we would both have access to. At first my brother fought it but now he was suddenly saying open it and have the mail forwarded there. This was a constant theme throughout the estate. “He” would say one thing and then completely change his mind days later. He even admits most of the bills were already coming to his house, which they shouldn’t have been. My brother was also demanding we pay the outstanding bills the same day we opened the bank account. He couldn’t even wait for the account to be opened and for the checks to come in the mail. He wanted the Bank to give us a few handwritten “starter checks”. I didn’t have any lists to give him at that point and my attorneys advised that there was no need for me to give them anything, especially since I still didn’t have my letters, and that they would take care of it. As far as my “online” access, I only had online access to my mom’s accounts because she gave me her email and passwords. I was not about to give them to these two sneaky liars. They were already in her mail. That was all they needed.
I knew my brother was not behind this email. My brother would never offer to write envelopes out and bring them to the bank! It was so ridiculous and completely unnecessary to do. This email has Satan written all over it. It’s written as if she’s the boss who is delegating tasks. This is a typical narcissist move. She’s telling me what I can do and what she is going to do. She has complete control although she’s trying to make it appear as if it equal by telling me I’m welcome to do, x,y,and z. She was basically assigning all the remedial tasks to me in an attempt to keep me busy and make me feel like I’m doing something. I don’t know what my brother told Satan about me but in the next few weeks I could see that she had no idea what type of person I am. She was about to see.
Once again it has been some time since I last updated this blog. In a nut shell, since the day I received letters of administration, from that point on, my life became an absolute and utter living fucking hell. I thought caring for my mom was stressful and it was……extremely, but settling an estate with a person like my brother’s wife who completely lacks empathy, compassion, humility, integrity, honesty and a moral compass, was complete and utter torture. I much rather be waterboarded than to ever have to deal with that demon again.
I had always thought since day one that my brother’s wife was a narcissist, but after all I’ve been through, I am now convinced that she is a full blown, legitimate, certified, clinical psychopath, with heavy narcissistic traits, and my brother has been fully indoctrinated into her sick, twisted and sadistic world. Years ago I saw him as a poor defenseless and naive victim, but now my empathy for him is completely lost. I have done extensive reading about personality disorders, co-dependents, enabling, toxic people, high conflict people, etc etc and I now understand that my brother in some way is responsible for the abuse, because he allows it to continue. When I look back to 2 months after his wedding when he showed up unannounced on my front door step, while in the midst of psychotic, shit-storm of an argument with his wife, and confessed to me that he thought she had borderline personality disorder, and had been “researching” it for weeks, I realize that he at that point in time had choice. Due to the timing of all of this, being only 2 months after they officially and legally became a committed union, I assume that this was the time you read about in so many articles about emotional abusers, that the mask finally slipped, and Satan started showing her true colors. At that point in time, even though she caused all that drama before their wedding, he wasn’t still fully engulfed in the fog and for whatever reason, he had a brief moment of clarity and acknowledged that there was something deeply wrong with her that he couldn’t handle. Sure enough though, as all narcissists do, she somehow sweet talked him with the promise to change and to see a marriage counselor (of her choosing of course) she “Hoovered” him back in, but there was an acknowledgement of her illness and that’s my whole point here. At that point in time while it would’ve been completely inconvenient, he could’ve easily got out of the marriage, and even possibly had it annulled. Sure he would’ve had to start all over, but it would’ve been a lot easier. He had more support, there were no real financial ties except his car, and most importantly no children. His heart would’ve been broken but he would’ve healed. Instead of walking away though, he made a clear and conscious CHOICE to not only try to work things out with her, but to actively start trying to have a child with her…..because you know, that solves everything. He decided to take an already unhealthy, toxic and messy situation and make it even more messy by adding an innocent child into the mix. He guaranteed himself that this woman is going to run his life on some level; for the rest of his life, even if she leaves him. Their poor kid didn’t ask to be born into this shit and shame on my brother for forcing it upon her.
When my brother told me that he believed his wife had Borderline personality disorder right away I started to read up on it to maybe gain some type of understanding of why things happened the way they did. The bulk of articles on the subject warn the reader, who is most likely the victim of their abuse, to run and run fast and to not look back. I found very few articles where there was empathy towards this person. In the end, Bordelines, Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths etc, all fall under the same category in the DSM (the book psychologists use to diagnose) and they all have overlapping traits, with slight variations from one other. The label itself doesn’t matter, because when you read about being in intimate relationships with any of them, the consensus is the same. You are looking towards a future of gaslighting, splitting, manipulation, taking all of the blame and worst of all, intense emotional abuse. My brother read all of this shit and for some reason decided to stick it out. That’s is why my sympathy for him is non-existent. My brother clearly has his own issues. What exactly they are, I don’t know, but I do know the one thing that probably drives him into controlling relationships with emotionally unstable women is that he is insecure with himself and feels he cannot do any better than what he can get. In other words, his expectations of women are low because his self-esteem is low. My brother, in my opinion is in an extremely emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship and due to the stigma that is attached to men being the victims, he is in complete denial about it. It’s a shame because men are afraid to reach out for help and admit that they are being browbeat by an abusive woman. Satan has fully altered his reality and the sickest part is that my brother actually still believes that he is in full control of his life.
My family only reinforces his delusional beliefs by ignoring and enabling him and his wife, by sitting on the sidelines quietly. (While some actively encourage the toxic behavior). What they fail to understand though is that I saw things, heard things and even witnessed things that were red flags, right from the beginning. What they feel to realize is that all abusers and all victims share a set characteristics that can be noticed by the outside world. I saw a lot of them from day one. I too was in a similar relationship and there were certain things my brother would do in the first few months of their relationship that I recognized myself doing when I was in that relationship. I saw a stark change in my brother’s overall behavior and demeanor whenever she was around. Even when she wasn’t around I could still detect something was wrong. My brother is very quiet when there’s something bothering him. I can tell when something is wrong with him within seconds of seeing him. I know what worry, fear and anxiety look like on his face. I know when he feels uncomfortable. Hell I can even tell when he’s trying to fake that everything is ok. After a lifetime of being around someone you don’t even need them to speak or express themselves to know something isn’t right. Their facial expressions and body language say it all.
The times I did see my brother during the first 6 months of his relationship while she wasn’t around, I could tell he was fighting with her. He’d be glued to his phone texting back and forth with her, all quiet and off in his own little world. Other ways I could tell something was off was that my brother started trying to sensor me too. He would ask me not to discuss certain topics or to hide things from her. That is not normal. He feared her reaction to things and seemed to be always walking on eggshells to avoid confrontation. Watching my brother change in these ways was scary to me. After a while he stated sounding like he was joining a cult. He no longer expressed his own ideas and opinions. Everything was, “well Satan says this is a good idea..”, or “Satan says i should do this.”, or “Satan knows because she’s been there and done that.”. That was all part of him being indoctrinated and brainwashed into thinking she knew best in every situation, always.
I don’t know how my family expects me not to feel a certain type of way about his wife. What they don’t get is that it wasn’t one or two little things. It’s a compilation of many different factors that made me worry about him and caused a complete lack of trust in his wife. When you see someone completely losing control, freedom and isolating themselves it is a scary thing to witness. I don’t know if maybe even with them they don’t get how a woman can be abusive. Maybe it’s because both my aunt Debbie and my Aunt Bea share in some of these toxic and abusive traits that Satan possesses, themselves and they fail to recognize that they are indeed abusive.
I don’t know but what I do know is that I don’t have to put up with toxic and abusive behavior from ANYONE. What I do know is that everything I believed was happening when my mom was sick, was really happening and that’s why my family refuses to face me. Facing me means facing the truth. Facing me means facing their own wrongdoings. It means facing that their lies and with that said, I will never talk to any of them, ever again.
I haven’t updated this blog in quite some time. When I started this blog it was something that was to be therapeutic to me. It was a way for me to get out my thoughts and feelings and my experiences dealing with someone who I thought was a narcissist. As time as gone on, my opinion of her being a narcissist isn’t an opinion anymore….it’s a FACT. She IS a narcissist. She is a sociopath. From the time I last updated this blog about when I got my papers till now, my life got so hectic and chaotic, and my stress levels went so high, I was barely sleeping. I still don’t really know how I got through the last 6 months of my life. I was on a rollercoaster ride from hell with the most crazed, mentally depraved, sadistic monster I have ever met.
I’m going to bring you all back to right before I got my papers which in legal terms are called Letters Testamentary. For purposes of this blog, I’m going to refer to them as, “the letters” or just “letters”, to save time typing. Anyway, my mom’s first birthday in heaven was approaching and absolutely nothing had been done to settle her estate. My attorney’s had written up an agreement for us that my aunts were going to renounce their roles as executors and my brother and I would stand in place of them. In that agreement my attorney added a stipulation that one executor cannot do anything without the approval of the other. We also agreed we were responsible for our own legal fees, but more importantly, we added a very much needed stipulation that said, that we must carry out all of our executorial duties in our own personal capacity, and that no-one can stand in our place. This excluded the help of professional like attorneys and accountants.
We added that last stipulation because up until that point, it was more than clear that my brother’s wife thought she was running the show. Every time I’d make calls to different companies, I would be told that she, Satan, had already called. It infuriated me, but more so than that, it went against everything my mom wanted. For years prior to her death; even before she knew she was sick, she was telling basically anyone who would listen that she didn’t want my brother’s wife entangled in her affairs. At that time, when we all signed that agreement, I knew it was going to be difficult, but even then, I couldn’t foresee the crazy shit I was going to have to deal with.
It was the days before my mom’s Birthday, July 24th to be exact, when I received my first email from my brother. We had not had contact of ANY kind since our altercation at my mom’s house back in December 2016. The only other contact we had was an email that he had sent me back in March 2017, which was basically him trying to strong arm me into dropping my objection to my Aunts being the executors of my mom’s estate. I never answered that email. The latest one was a short email basically asking me what ideas I have as far as my mom’s estate went. Although it was only a small paragraph or two, I could just tell in the way it was written, it wasn’t my brother in whom authored it. To me it was written in a way that a used car salesman would speak to try to feel you out before he clobbers you over the head with reasons as to why you need to buy the most expensive car on the lot.
A screen shot of the first email I received from my brother on July 24th, 2017.
Later that day I went to read my husband the email my brother had sent me and so I opened the email app on my phone and started typing my brother’s email address in the search bar. Up popped two old emails from my brother but the new one wasn’t there. I thought it was strange and so I backed up a few letters, and that was when I realized… in the suggested search list, there were two different email addresses, both in my brother’s name. For instance let’s say his name was Tom Smith. His regular email was TomSmith@email.com but this new email was ThomasJSmith@email.com. I thought it was rather strange seeing that my brother had been using the first email for almost a decade prior. Why all of the sudden would he make a new email address? That would inconvenience his whole life and for someone as tech savvy as him, who’s whole life revolves around his computer, his phone and his Apple Watch, it would be devastating. The two emails I had gotten from him since my mom’s passing, were sent from his regular account, but now suddenly he was using this new one. I was already suspicious about the way the email was written, but this sudden creation of a new email only raised my suspicions.
I decided to write back to my brother and let him know what exactly my ideas were. I basically told him what my attorney told me was to happen after we received our letters, and how we needed to do things like open an estate account and collect her assets. I even named the accounts so he didn’t think he was going to get one over on me. In the past, my brother had told my husband that he didn’t think I was capable of handling the estate and that I had a tendency to put things on the back burner and not follow through. Basically in his head, I was still some irresponsible 16 year old. He had no idea who I even was. I had taken care of our mother, by myself in the last year while he was slacking off, drinking at the bars with his wife and going to yankee games. He also didn’t want my grief holding up his money.
Anyway, I wanted it to be more than clear to him that I had known exactly what was going on and what we had to do. I also wanted him to know that I had already taken several steps to secure the assets. I paid the homeowners insurance and kept the property manicured and safe. Most importantly though, under the advice of my attorney, to assure I was speaking to my brother and not his wife, I told him that we’d have to meet up at some point to discuss how we were going to do things and what needed to be done. He told me that there’s no way an estate can be settled over email. My brother completely evaded my suggestion of meeting up.
A few days later, it was my mom’s birthday and my mom’s cousin owns a house on the beach, in a small community known as Ocean Beach, on Fire Island, had requested a mass in my mother’s name at the local church, on her birthday. She had asked me if I wanted to go, months in advance. Back when she had invited me, she also asked me how I’d feel about the rest of my mom’s family and my brother being invited as well. I felt like I was being put in a really awkward position and so I explained to her that I was not really comfortable being around my family at that time. I told her that my aunts and such would probably benefit more from a mass than I would because they are religious and I am not. I basically declined her invitation, but told her I really appreciated the sentiment and the fact that she respected me enough to ask me. The truth is, there was no way in hell I wanted to sit with those phonies and watch them cry their crocodile tears over my mother, in the house of god. The only ones that ended up going was Aunt Bea, her husband, and my brother and his family. Aunt Debbie had a prior engagement, but had she not, she probably would’ve been more than happy to be the “third” wheel. God, I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall that day.
Instead of surrounding myself with fake people, I decided to spend the day with my husband and son and do things in memory of my mom. We went to her house and looked around and reminisced about days past when she was here. Then later we ate some Mexican food because that’s what my mom always wanted every year for her birthday. It was a very sad day for me and I didn’t really feel like being around anyone anyway. My mom would’ve turned 63 on her birthday that year. She was way too young to be gone.
The following day, July 31st, I got another email from my brother. This time around he completely disregarded anything that I said and instead tried to take charge. He basically reiterated what I had already told him and he started sending me lists of bills that needed to be paid, and asking me for lists of bills and such. He had already filed for an EIN Number (basically a tax ID number that’s used after you die, in place of your social security number) which he shouldn’t have done because we didn’t even have our papers yet. He also told me he had some checks that were sent to my mom, but again, how was he getting those if he wasn’t the executor yet? Things got weird when he started asking if I had this specific form that he needed to get the auto insurance bill lowered, called an FS6. I mean only an insurance agent, which is what Satan does for a living, would know that kind of stuff, and I have no idea why he’d even think I’d have that, seeing that I couldn’t do anything with her car after it got repossessed. He attached two lists to his email. One was a list of bills that needed to be paid and the other was a list of bills he claims he paid and was seeking reimbursement for. I had previously heard that he had laid out $12,000 for the estate for all the bills he had paid but in reality it was less than $2000 because he only paid one month worth of bills. Regardless, there was really no point of doing any of this because we didn’t have the letters yet, and again I was advised by my attorney that we don’t pay bills or claims against the estate right away to ensure they were valid claims. At the very end of his email, my brother told me that one of my mom’s neighbors had expressed an interest in buying the house and that it would be better for us to sell it without using a real estate broker. That was an idea I was totally uncomfortable with, especially since I was dealing with two dishonest and sneaky people. Sure it would’ve been nice to make the extra money,but again, my attorney advised me that in this situation it was a bad idea. Also, I was in contact with almost all of the neighbors and none of them were interested in buying her house.
I reached out to my attorney and told him that after receiving both of these emails, I had an uneasy feeling because it seemed as if my brother had jumped the gun and started taking steps to settle the estate before we even had the letters. I also expressed my concerns regarding the communication and how I could tell it wasn’t my brother in whom I was speaking with, due to the tone of the emails, the lists he attached and the fact that he suddenly created a new email address. None of this represents the brother I once knew. My attorney advised me to once again suggest meeting in person, since my brother didn’t acknowledge me saying that in the first email, but he advised me to wait until we got the letters. This way, if my brother refused to meet up with me or talk to me, it could be used against him with the courts. All though it wouldn’t matter until we received our letters. My attorney also told me that he received a decree in the mail and ordered 10 official copies of the letters, and that they would be at his office any day. I took his advice and sat back and waited.
Ten days went by and suddenly on August 9th, I received another email from my brother, and since I had never responded to his previous email, he decided to resend me the same exact email, only he changed the first paragraph. In the first email, he told me the Court was still waiting for my signed oath but in the second email, he changed it to vaguely tell me that the court had all the necessary paperwork and that we “should” be set to go. As my attorney advised me to do, I wrote back to him saying only this. “After we receive the letters, please let me know if a day and time that you are available to discuss these matters.”.
Those were probably the two last amicable emails that were written back and forth. From then on out it became a shit Storm of epic proportions……